The end of an era

Trouble in the basement

Well, I had a great weekend. But then Monday morning hit me square in the face at 5:45 a.m.


(Water pooling around the furnace)

I happened to go downstairs to get some clothes to wear for work this morning, which was fortunate, because I don't always have to get stuff out of the dryer in the morning. Today I did, and I'm glad I was there. I noticed our furnace kept trying to ignite, then shut off, then ignite, then shut off. So I fiddled around with it for a while and no luck. Pete lost his cell phone (for the millionth time) and I couldn't get a hold of him, and he had just left for work like 15 min. before that. And it was starting to get cold in the house. I was super worried the pipes would burst because of the temps dropping all morning from no heat. On top of all that, I noticed a pool of water by the furnace, and the fact that the water was causing the furnace to shut off. And where was the water coming from? The hot water heater, of course! Yay!


(Water leaking from the hot water heater)

So I called my dad and he advised me a bit. Then Pete finally got my message at work and called home, and tried to help. After a while I was able to shut the hot water tank off to stop the leaking, sopped up the water with some towels, and the furnace fired up again. But the furnace activity has been spotty. I'm still worried it might shut off at any moment until that water is totally dry, so here I am at home, taking a day off when I can't really afford to (I only have 4 vacation days left to add to my 5-week severance now). I figure I'll job hunt and get some work done around here since I'm stuck home til Pete gets here to fix the hot water heater. But it's irritating all the same, between running downstairs to check on the furnace and clean up the water, and trying to look for work online when there's NOTHING out there right now. Plus I'm still trying to shake this annoying cold, so I'm not exactly peppy.

All in all, a great start to the week. I guess I should be happy cuz I would have been cleaning out my cube today and packing up my stuff. And I have LOTS of cleaning to do here. But I'm not happy...

Missing the hubby

Pete, recently passed out on the couch with his safety glasses still on



Poor Pete has been working 12-hour days for the last four days now. And while the money is great, especially these days, he's still totally wiped out. I've barely seen him all weekend, and he's only had enough energy to come home and crash out on the couch. He's been getting up at 4 to get to work by 6, and then doesn't make it home til 8:30-9 at night (he works waaay far from home). Today we're celebrating the January birthdays in our family, and he probably won't be able to attend his own party.

Sigh...

Waiting for the harvest

"Money tree, don't fail me now!"

(A random thought at work this week)

And there you have it

I knew it was coming. We all did. Our company has been dying a slow, painful death over the last few years, and especially during the last 8 months or so. We were just never sure when. And with all the games, the intimidation, the finger pointing, keeping your head down was a priority and you expected the ax to fall at any moment. Seriously, every day was agony. Would it be today? Who would go? How would they go? They have botched previous layoffs before. People were sometimes notified by hearsay from others about their own layoffs. Or the "angel of death"—an employee chosen to retrieve the unlucky ones from their cubes and take them to the HR office—would incite fear and panic every time her head could be seen bobbing along a department's row.



Yesterday was no different. The early email about a company-wide meeting was the first panic alarm sounded. Then it was the glimpse of corporate higher ups milling about. Finally, seeing the HR person on site on her off day (she only came by our company twice a month) incited nervous chattering and upset stomachs. No one could focus, and you could cut the tension with a knife.



So when we all finally sat down in that meeting, some of us with kleenex at the ready, others already wiping the tears away, we all knew. That didn't make it any easier, although the certainty of it happening and having an end date (April 1st) for our doors to permanently close was somehow a huge relief. Never knowing if you might be working your last day or not was agony; knowing you were working toward your last day is strangely not. Not being singled out as in previous layoffs, but instead leaving in one large group, together, was easier to stomach too. And although not all of us will likely make it to April 1st, we are fairly certain we'll be around in February for the job search seminars. March, on the other hand, is another matter entirely.



So the severance packets have been passed around, an HR meeting is scheduled for today (there are so many questions), but life at our company goes on for the moment. It's a scary world out there right now, with record unemployment levels and a global financial downward spiral underway. But I think this current dark and ominous path will lead to brighter and happier places ahead. To have nowhere to go but up can be a good thing in a way. It lends an air of hope and promise, and gives one a sense of purpose when job hunting, especially if careers are to be changed and professions to be re-examined.



Until that time, however, our company's slow painful death continues—but with all of us in this together now, until a definite end, which has finally been granted.

Bummed

Well, today is another day where I had two choices: Either go to work and be sent home early, without pay, because we have no work, or take another vacation day. So of course I chose the vacation day. And here I am at home, working on freelance, shoveling the drive (another snow storm!), and feeling bummed. Things are not good at work and it sounds like a permanent slow down/shut down is on the horizon. All I can do is search for jobs, get stuff done around the house, and be thankful I still have lots of vacation days left, just in case. Oh, and having some severance is a very good thing, I'm thinking...

At least I didn't have to drive to work in all this snow, right?

Groan!

'Twas a hard day today. I got only three or so hours of sleep last night due to anxiety, restlessness, and I'm guessing too much caffeine. When I got to work, the old panicky feelings started up, and I spent most of the day feeling run down, tired, headache-y, and digestively challenged. It's funny (or not so funny) how much something like a job can affect your mental, physical, and emotional states. I felt pretty darn good for the previous five days that I was off on vacation, so I know it's not just my body being its usual difficult self.

Well, tomorrow I'm hoping to shake that anxiety hangover off. I've already planned a cute (and very "me") outfit that is nicely put together, yet fairly comfy. Some rather awesome flat gray suede boots may be revealed, and I'm excited to show them to my fellow shoe aficionados at work. They look very similar to the ones Blake Lively is wearing in the photo, but I plan to fold my cuffs over (I think) and wear a much longer (denim) skirt. I figured I'd try to have a little fun with my look, when everything else around me is somewhat grim.

What do you do to put a smile on your face and a little happiness in your heart, especially in the wake of challenges like a difficult work environment, or poor health, or family strife, or lots of stress in general? Do you wear a pretty pair of shoes, or some cool jewelry, or do you simply spike your blood with a little Starbucks and put on your best smile? I think it's interesting what people use to help them during their time of need, because it's a way to inspire others to use the same methods. I would have to say shoes tend to lift my spirits, but I'm not always up for a pair of heels or the demands of a skirt/dress.

What about you?