(So) happy together

I'm not sure why, but lately Pete and I have been in a really good place, as far as our relationship goes. We don't fight much, we have really interesting conversations, and we laugh and cuddle more than ever. Not that we were always fighting like cats and dogs before, but there just seems to be a sense of harmony that has settled over our home. Despite the extremely tight finances (uh, hello unemployment, furlough days, and tons of medical bills) and the usual bumpy road we travel called life, we've been pretty mellow and happy.

I think we are also both happy (and a bit scared) about Baby Jack coming, and are enjoying this strange journey together (where DID that belly come from???). I think Pete is settling into not only his role as a husband, but as a father and provider, and perhaps is enjoying it more and more. He is ready to take on his new roles, and seems to be so excited to make a difference in someone's life (Jack's).

So yeah, we're happy. It's a good place to be, and I hope it only gets better from here.

Happy

I find myself in a really positive state of mind lately, and it's odd, but extremely nice. Kind of like a new dress that you can't wait to wear and like to dance around in, yet it feels new and alien and different than the "normal" you. I take the utmost joy in picking flowers in my backyard, savoring the taste of a chocolate bar, snuggling in some freshly-laundered linens, and having a great conversation with someone. That's how relaxed and just plain happy I feel these days.

I also think it's odd that I'm so happy now that I'm unemployed, but I think it's because I've been slowly finding my way down a few new paths, as well as because I'm away from an extremely stressful and depressing job. The children's book writer and illustrator seminar I went to on Saturday really opened my eyes and heart. She emphasized how an artist should always have a place in their home to create, and how they shouldn't apologize for what they are or what they see or what they make. She encouraged us to go for our dreams and just try. If the work doesn't come to you, then make your own work. I was so excited when I called Pete to tell him all about it. The teacher was wonderful, and she filled me with so much hope and potential. I feel like I can pursue my love of illustration, photography, and children's literature during a time when I would have been stuck in a bad job, doing something I cared little for, and not getting anywhere. When I think of my life a few months ago, I shudder at all the misery. Not that unemployment is a cake walk, but I didn't realize how utterly miserable I was before, and I guess it takes being truly happy to realize how unhappy you once were.

On the same day as my seminar, I also found out I'm getting another freelance project at the end of the month from my usual client. This fills me with so much joy and excitement. I'm hoping to carry that energy into new pursuits, new freelance contacts, and new projects. And I guess a lot of the enthusiasm comes from the continued remodeling of my home, which has been a long time coming. I'm actually able to walk around in my kitchen, to open my sliding screen door, to turn on my porch light and see who's at the door, all things I couldn't do only a matter of a week ago. You tend to take such mundane things for granted, but when they're not there, boy, do you feel the effects. When home is pretty and cozy and happy, so am I.

Thoughts of the future come to mind, things I'll be doing during the next six months, year, five years, and so on. The growth of my family, hobbies, work, and marriage...life seems so full of purpose and potential that I can hardly contain myself. I'm thrilled to be getting in touch with my long-postponed artistic career, and thoroughly enjoy puttering around my house, fixing things, finding great flea market finds, and relaxing with my animals.

I think this pretty dress suits me just fine.

A random story from my day

I was driving through a residential neighborhood this morning on my way to work, and I saw something big out of the corner of my eye, running somewhat slowly across a lawn. At first I thought it was a cat, but then I realized it was a large, chunky raccoon. It saw me coming (I was only doing 25 or so) and began loping across the street, head down, looking rather focused. It slowly ran across the street, hindered by its awkward shape and size, and I could tell it was panicked, trying to cross in time. I slowed down and curiously watched it trek across the pavement. It was probably watching me out of the corner of ITS eye, because once it got across the street it ambled around a fence, breathing hard, but it was safe. Something about its goofy trot across the street made me smile, and put me in a good mood. I was already feeling peppy due to record temps here in Chicagoland (it's going to be in the 60s today—woo hoo!), but that just made my day for some reason.

Groan!

'Twas a hard day today. I got only three or so hours of sleep last night due to anxiety, restlessness, and I'm guessing too much caffeine. When I got to work, the old panicky feelings started up, and I spent most of the day feeling run down, tired, headache-y, and digestively challenged. It's funny (or not so funny) how much something like a job can affect your mental, physical, and emotional states. I felt pretty darn good for the previous five days that I was off on vacation, so I know it's not just my body being its usual difficult self.

Well, tomorrow I'm hoping to shake that anxiety hangover off. I've already planned a cute (and very "me") outfit that is nicely put together, yet fairly comfy. Some rather awesome flat gray suede boots may be revealed, and I'm excited to show them to my fellow shoe aficionados at work. They look very similar to the ones Blake Lively is wearing in the photo, but I plan to fold my cuffs over (I think) and wear a much longer (denim) skirt. I figured I'd try to have a little fun with my look, when everything else around me is somewhat grim.

What do you do to put a smile on your face and a little happiness in your heart, especially in the wake of challenges like a difficult work environment, or poor health, or family strife, or lots of stress in general? Do you wear a pretty pair of shoes, or some cool jewelry, or do you simply spike your blood with a little Starbucks and put on your best smile? I think it's interesting what people use to help them during their time of need, because it's a way to inspire others to use the same methods. I would have to say shoes tend to lift my spirits, but I'm not always up for a pair of heels or the demands of a skirt/dress.

What about you?