So blah

Today I woke up tired, but okay. I ate my usual Cheerios—sharing them, of course, with the dogs—and went upstairs to take a shower. When I was getting out, I started feeling super queasy, which I found odd. The feeling passed and I left for work soon after.

On my way to work, I stopped for my daily coffee from the local Philips (only 86 cents!). After a few sips I started having bad stomach pains, but not like digestive pains or anything. More like my stomach muscles were really tight and contracted, and my stomach just hurt. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I hadn't been eating anything weird lately. Heck, I haven't been eating anything lately period, thanks to a lovely thing called a diet (I'm still majorly loving Lose It!, by the way). I did have a salad...maybe my body was rejecting the first large helping of healthy vegetables I had consumed in weeks?

Needless to say, I felt like crap most of the day, and even tonight, while I was on the treadmill doing a gentle but brisk walk. What is up with my body? I can lay in an isolation booth for a month, eating nothing but carefully measured and selected meals, and I will STILL develop some sort of stomach, head, body, mouth, or any other kind of pain imaginable. It's days like these when I feel like giving up the good fight and just grabbing that bag of Doritos out of the pantry. I'm puffy and feel uncomfortable in my own skin, much of that caused by whatever bug or food is passing through me.

But I always stop myself short, and instead turn to other things as a distraction. Sleep is a good one because it's not only beneficial, but I can just fast forward to the end of the day and start all over in the morning with a clean slate. Television can be a nice way to zone out and forget what's bugging me, but I often get stuck watching something dull on the Military Channel with Pete. That's a bit too much zoning out for my tastes.

And then, of course, there's blogging. If I want to pour my feelings out, relate a funny story, or share some cool pix, that's the route to go. And here I am, writing this while my stomach continues to cramp, my husband snores away on the couch, and I find myself wishing it were 10:00 so I could justify going to bed right away. (It's only 8:15. Damn.)

After having several good, amazing days where I felt pretty healthy, was energetic, and happy, these kind of days hit me like a ton of bricks. What to do in such a situation? Get up, shake myself off, and move on, I suppose. At least my diet is benefiting from my lack of food desire...

Your purse, your home, your mind, your body

I firmly believe that a woman’s state of mind, body, and soul can be determined by looking at the state of her purse, her home, her car—anything that is near or dear to her. I have found this to be true in my own life, and Georgia concurs. She told me all about the purse theory, which jives with my own house and car theory.

There have been many times when my house has gone to hell, or my purse has been in shambles, or my car has looked like a moving garbage can. I seem to be rather out of sorts during these phases, in all areas of my life, and I begin to lose focus and a sense of purpose, too. I start spiraling out of control and cannot stop the landslide of discontent, and meanwhile my personal items and places are reflective of this phenomenon. Too many receipts and keys are thrown in my purse. I neglect to sweep or vacuum or do the dishes once too often. Or I simply toss my empty fast food bags on the floor of my car, thinking I’ll deal with it all later, but there’s never a later during these phases. There are plenty of delays and maybes and mini bursts of intention, but nothing more.

Nothing, until I get the cleaning and organizing itch and decide to fix everything up. I have these moments of clarity where I want and need to have everything clean, tidy, and organized, and I can almost hear a click, like a lock being turned or a button being pushed as I become more organized. My mind and body are usually in sync with the emerging order of my dwellings and possessions, and I feel positive and happy as I work. Suddenly I am able to sit on my couch again and not have dog hair all over me, and I can find my sunglasses in my purse without wading through wads of paper, and my car isn’t a scary, smelly, crowded place to be. I am at peace again, internally and externally. I can sit down and breathe and be content with the lack of chaos around and within me, and be in a state of nirvana, if only for a breath of time.

(Photo courtesy of Fotosearch)