Showing posts with label women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label women. Show all posts

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The mini skirt



Speaking of mini skirts...

What do you define as a mini skirt? Who should wear one and who shouldn't? Why?



This is something I've been thinking about for quite some time, long before I turned 35 this September. It seems everyone has an opinion on how women should dress appropriately for their age (whatever that means). And the debate over how old you should be before you stop wearing mini skirts is a never-ending one.



It surprises me how worked up people get about this issue, too. I googled this subject and read many message board posts with varying opinions, all hotly debated. People's opinions range from the belief that no one should wear a mini past 18 to the belief that you should wear whatever you want, as long as your bits and pieces aren't hanging out and you look decent. A "mini" can be defined as hitting anywhere from a few inches above your knee to barely clearing the butt cheeks. I personally think anything resembling the latter is a micro-mini (as some of these photos show), and something like the skirt below is a more standard mini skirt length.



I must admit, I'm in that more easy-going group. I mean, if a woman wears a skirt that is, say, 4-5 inches above her knee, looks nice, and isn't completing the look with fishnets and spike heels, then what's wrong with that? Why must we suddenly adopt a certain dress code once we hit a certain age? I have seen 18 year olds wearing minis who struggle with the look, and 45 year olds wearing minis who look awesome.



Do I ever think about that older woman being too old for such a look? Of course not. I always admire people who look good, who are stylish, and who can rock a certain look. The more artistic and fashion-edgy element of society tends to buck the system and do whatever they please, but once you start talking about the rest of the population, there are suddenly rules and regulations about fashion. Of course, you should always follow the dress code of your particular job, but otherwise I think if you can swing it, why not?



To show how silly this age rule is, think of this. Should it be said that once you're over a certain weight you shouldn't wear, say, leggings? What weight would that be? 135 pounds? 150? 200? 300? You could stand two women side by side who are both the same weight and they can look radically different from each other. And why should either woman be restricted from wearing something because of a number? If they weighed 5 pounds more than the "limit", are they suddenly excluded from wearing leggings? Or should they keep a pair on hand in case they hit that magical number again? The same ridiculous argument applies to wearing a mini skirt, I think, except age is the deciding factor. But what about an 80 year old wearing a mini, you ask. Well, if she can work that outfit, then wow, I'm impressed! And if not? Hey, she's 80, she can do what she wants!



I saw this post on a message board regarding denim mini skirts today:



I see nothing wrong with wearing a denim mini skirt. How is it different from wearing a pair of shorts, aside from the fact that people might see your panties if you bend over too far? As long as you have the legs, who cares. I think the real issue is society is uncomfortable with women over a certain age flaunting their sexuality. For whatever reason, only teenagers and women under 40 are allowed to look attractive in clothes. We are told it's really because we're older and should have dignity and we're mothers and so on. But I think you can be an adult and have dignity while looking attractive and sexual. Nevertheless we seem uncomfortable with this idea and we're afraid of seeing the ravages of age that every woman over 35 supposedly have. As you can see with celebrities and women you may even know, not every female over a certain age has a terrible body that should be covered up. Many women 35 and older take really good care of themselves and in my opinion have earned the right to flaunt what they have. Part of the fun of being a woman is dressing up and showing off your figure. I don't know why a woman shouldn't enjoy it as long as she can. If anything, I think teenagers should dress more conservatively and adult women of every age should be free to showcase their sexuality.



Now, I'm not saying women should start wearing itty bitty skirts to flaunt what they have, and I don't think that's what this person meant. I think the point is if you feel like wearing a shorter skirt, why not? In the end, I think it should be the length of the skirt and not the age of the woman that should determine whether it should be worn or not.



What do you think?

(Third image courtesy of Corbis)

Friday, November 7, 2008

How men and women view a fight

It's funny how different a man's perspective and a woman's perspective can be...



(Us arguing at a restaurant in Lake Placid, New York)

The other day, Pete and I had an argument. It wasn't a huge fight, but it did stir up a little drama between us. Afterward, I felt like Pete was acting cold toward me, and he didn't seem to want to talk or cuddle at all. That in turn colored my mood, and I was touchy and irritable all night, and went to bed troubled and sullen.

During work the next day, I spent my time complaining and commiserating with my friends and coworkers about the previous day's fight. We women agreed about men and their mysterious (but aggravating) ways, and everyone sympathized with my plight. I could think about nothing but our fight all day, and it colored my mood in deep, dark shades of gray and black. When it was time to pick Pete up after work, I was withdrawn and somber as he got into my car. He, on the other hand, was fairly chipper, happy, and affectionate. Pete seemed genuinely confused as to why I was so quiet. When I told him why, he said, "Really? I didn't think it was that big of a fight." And then he lapsed into discussions about the Ford Motor Company and Shelley Fabares (not necessarily together). He pulled out his iPhone and started reading facts to me from the Internet about car engines and corporate politics while I sat there, stunned. Then showed me countless images of famous pop starlets from the '60s while I nodded absentmindedly at his commentary about each woman. I thought about this man, my husband.

I was flabbergasted. Why wasn't he upset like me? Why didn't he brood about our fight all day long, like I did? Why was he able to just snap out of his funk and be happy again? Didn't he realize how emotional and traumatic this was to our relationship?

No, of course not. Because that's the key difference between most men and women that I know. Women take so much to heart. They worry about pleasing others, about what others think and feel, whether their relationships are still okay and healthy and normal, and so on. Men? Men worry, but they worry more about the actual yelling and fighting. And after a short period of time, once things seem to be okay, they move on with their lives and file that fight or argument away under "Resolved."

How do they do it? I don't know, but I certainly can learn a lesson from how men behave, including Pete. Not to say that I shouldn't worry about any issues that stand between us, but I should realize that hey, we're married, and we've been together for years. If some minor argument can come between us and have a huge impact on our relationship, then we have problems. The fact that we have weathered so much together says a lot about us and why we're together. We work things out and have a laugh about it later. And yeah, fighting is normal, even healthy. Plus, making up can be so much fun, if you know what I mean...