reverie

Happy birthday Jack!

2011-10-31T12:00:00.000-05:00

Two! He's two! My little guy is two! How lucky am I to have such a wonderful little person in my life? Here he is, all smiles, after aqua therapy.

And yes, he sure did enjoy that Frankenstein birthday cake at his party....

Treasure of the day

2011-09-25T20:42:00.001-05:00

Vintage horse saddle mirror ('65) from the Kane County Overnighter Flea Market

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Treasure of the day

2011-09-03T17:38:00.001-05:00

Or should I say treasures...all from today's Kane County Flea Market:

Working vintage art nouveau/deco-ish anniversary clock, sans glass dome and in need of a cleaning

Print of Henry Harris the boxer, Chicago, 1900

Beautiful and unique 100-year-old stained glass window from a demolished church in Salem, Ohio

With light shining through it

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Oh, the irony

2011-07-15T06:51:00.001-05:00

Not much you can do when you wake up at 5 a.m. with a migraine. I like to give the Excedrin an hour to kick in and for me to try to fall back asleep. But if that doesn't work, then I just say to hell with it and get up for good. And write a blog post or something.

I must laugh a little at today's migraine episode though, because I actually woke up with the migraine after having a dream about...having a migraine. And looking for Excedrin. Very original, subconscious, very original indeed.

(Photo via flickr; posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Treasure of the day

2011-07-15T06:41:00.001-05:00

From several weeks ago...

Vintage 6.5" wooden letter "e" from the Kane County Flea Market (about $8)

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Treasure of the day

2011-07-14T21:21:00.001-05:00

This one dropped in my lap unexpectedly today—for free! Thanks to my brother Steve for this lovely vintage find (I'm not sure what his source was). The lithograph is from 1942, but the frame totally looks 1960s Mid-Century Regency.

Vintage lithograph by Roger T. Peterson titled "Baltimore Oriole No. 6," lithographed by the Quaker State Lithographing Company, U.S.A., 1942.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

New feature: Treasure of the day

2011-07-13T09:41:00.001-05:00

I've become quite the magpie lately, or should I say, I'm just continuing the tradition. I have hunted around antique shops and flea markets since I was in my teens, and back then it was considered more dorky than hipster cool. I've been finding some really cool things lately, most dirt cheap or relatively inexpensive (I'm not one to willingly pay loads of money for something just because it's old or cool).

Anyhow, I figured I'd share my finds with you, since part of the joy of finding such treasure is sharing the experience. And there's lots to share, since, as I mentioned, I've been doing this forever. Plus, I've become much more skilled at finding and unearthing these cheap vintage and antique treasures.

So, here's today's treasure of the day:

A vintage pair of brass duck bookends for $3 from the local resale shop.

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Summer update!

2011-07-05T13:41:00.001-05:00

Hi everyone!

Just wanted to pop in and post an update/pic of Jack. As you can see, he's doing great. He's almost walking already, and literally climbing the walls (or trying to, anyhow).

Things are very busy as always. Jack is in six (!) different therapies right now. I'm still freelancing on the side, as well as working on a BIG project of my own. I'm also still unpacking/decorating from our big move in late October. Yes, still! I mostly have the basement left, but I also still have tons of art to hang. Sigh...

Anyhow, I keep saying I'll blog more but I never do. Well, I just downloaded a blogging app, so we'll see if that helps. Since I'm never without my trusty iPhone, it should make blogging quicker and easier for me—I hope!

Well, time to put the little guy down for a nap. Hope you all had a great holiday, and I'll be back soon!

(Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone)

Santa Jack!

2010-12-13T15:05:00.002-06:00

A new beginning

2010-12-12T12:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I hope this time of year finds everyone in a happy place, both literally and figuratively. As for me, it's a mixed bag, as always. But overall things are good.

I've been absent for a while due to being busy with a recent move. We just purchased our first home, and while it's small and humble, it has lots of character, and it's ours. The yard is enormous, and Jack even has his own room (finally!).

I'm glad I can give Jack the opportunity to grow up in a home of his own, and we can finally put down roots. I love being able to paint walls, plant flowers and veggies (once the snow is long gone), and establish a presence here in our new local neighborhood. Granted, we moved all of three blocks, and you'd think that would make it so much easier, right? Oh no! I think I'll be unpacking for months to come. It's frustrating not being able to decorate yet, or just relax and have everything done, but as everyone keeps saying, we have the rest of our lives to worry about that.

As for Jack, he's doing marvelously.

He is finally off of all his medications, and only takes a daily multivitamin. He's still quite delicate, and we must continue to worry about CLD, RSV shots, and a variety of other issues, but he's a very spunky and energetic little baby. Jack's been eating table food for a long time now, and is rapidly putting on weight after a long dry spell where he was stuck in the 15-lb range. Although he still has developmental (physical) delays and is still trying to crawl and master sitting up, he's sharp as a tack, and has a quirky sense of humor (with a goofy laugh to match). Jack continues to get various therapies, with more being added soon, but he is a strong and determined little soul.

Words cannot describe how much I love my little boy.

And yes, I'd love to have another soon, but we will have to meet with high risk doctors months before we even start trying. To say that I'm scared is an understatement. But we'll go in to it knowing what can happen, how to prevent it, and do our best.

Pete and I are doing well too. The economy has continued to affect us both in our careers, but we're making due. And as I keep pointing out to Pete, we were able to buy a house this year, despite everything, so that's saying something, right? We even got out for some mommy and daddy alone time recently at a coffee tour downtown (that's a rarity!). Here we are with my sibs and niece at the Intelligentsia coffee tour (Pete rarely smiles in photos). I still have some baby weight to lose, but once I unearth my treadmill and get back to exercising, I hope it'll start to melt away.

Anyhow, just wanted to pop in here and say hello, post some pix, etc. Hope you are all well, and I miss being a regular in blogland. But I know everyone is busy too, and you just have to take life as it comes.

Happy holidays!

Recent pix

2010-09-28T14:19:00.003-05:00

Chris here...I'm not going to say for the millionth time that I'm going to be blogging again! And take pix! And make my own bread! And run a marathon! And...and...and...phew. Life is super, duper busy. Can you tell? I'm lucky to do much beyond care for my special baby, keep the house functioning (note that I did not say "clean"), and squeeze out the occasional freelance project (they're few and far between these days). And there is big news on the horizon that I will be sharing soon (I hope).

In the meantime, I managed to grab five pix of Jack (who else?) to share with you all. The kid is tiny, but he's growing like a weed these days! So without further delay, here's Jack-Jack:

With dada and Lamby (about two months ago)

With his beloved Mr. Duck during bath time

Rock on!

Hanging out with dada in bed

With grandma (this past weekend—photo courtesy of Nic)

Littlest Beatles Fan

2010-07-13T13:47:00.000-05:00

Taken by Nicole, a true talent

2010-06-02T13:30:00.003-05:00

Isn't my sister-in-law Nicole super talented? She inspires me so much. She is part of the reason I want to get back into photography again, after an absence of several months (due to obvious reasons—see previous post).

These were taken in Savanna this weekend...we both went out to play with our cameras while grandma Claudette watched Jack. I almost felt awkward at first, not knowing where to begin, but Nic helped me relax and get back into the artistic groove.

I love her work.

I've got a ten pounder (plus) on my hands!

2010-06-02T13:00:00.009-05:00

Mama and Jack (pic taken by Nicole)

I've been busy, busy, busy...but here are some pix for you of you-know-who.

I'm getting back into photography and exploring my artistic side, now that Jack is home and healthy (despite a recent cold) and the weather is so beautiful. I've posted some pix at vivid of recent Savanna trips, and I'm participating in Lens.Us.Together again. It feels good to pick up the camera again (and not just the iPhone all the time).

Hopefully I'll be posting regularly again as time allows...I hope you are all doing well too!

Watching the carousel with mama at Blackberry Farm

Dapper sailor

Bath time with grandma Claudette

Tiny tiger

With grandma Carol at Blackberry Farm (pic by Sam)

Shirt-hat

Hanging with dada and watching video games

Tiger Jack

March for Babies—last call

2010-04-24T12:22:00.003-05:00

Don't forget, tomorrow I'll be walking in the March for Babies walk in Naperville, IL. If you are interested in donating to this very worthy cause, please visit my fund raising page to make a donation on behalf of Jack's team. Jack wouldn't be here if not for some of the great research and advances in science supported/funded by the March of Dimes.

Thank you!

Jack-Jack

2010-04-21T12:57:00.004-05:00

Some ShakeIt-enhanced photos of Jack....

Thanks to everyone who still stops by to check on his progress. I have my hands VERY full at the moment, as you can imagine, but hopefully things will eventually quiet down. I miss blogging and all of you!

And yes, as you can see, his feeding tube is long gone (he pulled it out weeks ago) and better yet, he's home! Has been since March 7th. He's still dealing with feeding issues, mostly due to reflux, and still receives therapy. But otherwise he's doing great. I think he's aound 8 lbs, which we will confirm at his pediatrician appointment next week.

He has just started socially smiling, and I love it!

Hope you are all doing well....

Happy Jack

Goofy Jack

For Uncle Matt...

Monkey boy

Another smile

Baby toes (yes, they're crooked)

Full of wonder

Scary Jack

With his froggy Wubanub

More Jack, please!

2010-03-03T15:51:00.003-06:00

Wide awake

Passed out during floor mat time

Crying Buddha

(Half) Nekked baby

Asleep in his swing

Under pressure

2010-02-23T13:10:00.004-06:00

Well, I just had a discouraging visit at the doctor's this morning. I was put on blood pressure medicine when I gave birth to Jack, due to hypertension. I was hoping to be weaned off the meds, since I've been slowly losing weight, eating well, and getting lots of sleep. But surprisingly, it's still high. The nurse took my blood pressure and it was fairly low, 122/60. I was pleased, but then startled when the doctor took it again 25 minutes later and it was high, 130/90. And I had just taken my pill a few hours earlier (which makes me lightheaded and nauseous sometimes).

The doctor was also concerned, and ordered a kidney ultrasound, to make sure my kidneys are functioning properly. I have already had an EKG (back during my Hooveritis days 4-5 years ago) and that looked normal. I work out every day, eat right (except for the occasional fast food order), and, like I said, am losing weight (18 pounds since Jack was born on Halloween). The only thing I can think of is that it's genetic, since my mom has had hypertension/high blood pressure for years now, and my dad has it now too. It was very depressing to hear that I haven't progressed in that area. I do a lot to take care of myself, and yet this is one more thing that is out of my control, and that is a stress factor in my life.

I hadn't been to see my doctor in a year and a half, and she was saddened to hear about Jack and everything that has happened since he was born. Then she told me she had lost twins at 21 weeks, almost 20 years ago, and she understood how hard this all was on me. She said she couldn't imagine going through what I'm going through, but I think losing twins would be much, much harder for me. She was also impressed by how I've been handling things, but just as I tell everyone else, I don't really have a choice, and I just deal with it and do what I have to do to get through each day. She was very encouraged to hear that Jack is going home soon though.

My kidney ultrasound is on Saturday, so hopefully that will give me some answers as to what's going on with my body. Funny thing is, now I'm freaking out a bit about the high blood pressure not going away, which is probably making my blood pressure higher. That's stress for ya.

(Image from firstaidwarehouse.co.uk)

Speaking of smiles...

2010-02-17T14:36:00.003-06:00

...and a pout.

:)

2010-02-13T13:00:00.000-06:00

I'm glad I continue to see these everywhere I go. They remind me that I need to smile. I showed this to Pete the other day, and he said, "Ah, my wife, who sees smiley faces everywhere she goes."

Diaper bag diva

2010-02-12T13:00:00.000-06:00

I recently purchased a lovely diaper bag from the Etsy shop Fuchst Bags, and I can't wait to get it in the mail! I was so undecided on what to get to carry around Jack's necessities because I don't really care for the typical diaper bag. So I decided to browse Etsy and see what they offered, and I stumbled upon this shop. I actually said, "Ooooh!" when I saw these gorgeous hobo/diaper bags.

After carefully thinking about it for all of a day, I went ahead and got one. I figured I'm going to be the one schlepping Jack and his stuff around 90% of the time, so I might as well get a bag that I like. And when I'm done with the baby stage of my life (not for some time, I understand), this bag can easily be used as a purse or tote, providing it's still around by then and hasn't disintegrated from use.

It should have been today

2010-02-11T13:00:00.000-06:00

...or at least somewhere close to today. Not three and a half months early.

I still have so much guilt, anger, confusion, and shock that Jack was born so early. I don't clearly understand what happened, or why. And yet I have to see him every day, suffering from his extreme prematurity, trying to just get to the point that most babies are already developed before they are born.

Today is a hard day for me. It's a happy day, since we have been blessed with Jack's presence. But it's still very difficult to face that things didn't go as planned. That I never got the chance to carry my baby to term. That I didn't go home with him, didn't get to sleep next to him at night, didn't get to feed him, didn't get to show him off and do normal "mom things." Maybe it'll get easier as time goes on. Maybe not.

I will always be filled with the questions, "What if?" and "Why?"

I will always wonder what could have been.

I will always feel guilty, no matter how irrational it may seem to others. I think many, if not most, preemie moms know how I feel.

I will always live in fear of a sneeze or cough, or the wrong shade of color on his face, or a pause in his breathing, or a tremor in his limbs.

I will always wonder how his life will be different, what he'll miss out on, what he'll have to endure, what he will never know.

It should have been today.

March for Babies

2010-02-10T13:00:00.000-06:00

I'm walking in the March for Babies walk to prevent prematurity on Sunday, April 25th, at the Naperville River Walk. I have created a team in honor of my son, Jack, in order to raise money for this cause. If you'd like to walk with me or donate to Jack's team, click on the widget to the right of my blog. Please join me in preventing premature births from happening to other babies and their families. Thanks!

How it all began

2010-02-05T16:27:00.005-06:00

I thought I'd take a moment and fill you all in on what happened with Jack's early birth. I was absent from blogging for a while due to Jack's health issues and my own recovery, and it has only been recently that I've felt much like I used to (albeit with a big, pouchy belly) and have gotten back to my normal routine.

My pregnancy was normal up to the 20-week ultrasound. I was considered high risk due to AMA (Advanced Maternal Age) at 36, but I was otherwise healthy. Pete and I conceived within the first month of trying, and I never had severe morning sickness during my pregnancy. I was fatigued a lot, which I expected, and I tried to watch my weight, although I think I was on the higher end of weight gain for someone of my average size (a 40 lb gain after 6 months). My OB wasn't concerned, and things seemed to hum along at a nice pace. I took both a prenatal vitamin and omega-3 supplement religiously, and stayed away from such things as second hand smoke (Pete is a smoker), toxic fumes from paint and such, and the usual food no-no's for pregnant women.

Jack was measuring correctly at the 20-week ultrasound, seemed healthy, and no problems were found. Things seemed great, I felt great, and I was actually only worried that a) I'd have a big baby, since my mom's babies were all 9-10 lbs, or b) I'd have a small baby (4-5 lb) like my sister did, who mysteriously delivered both undersized babies at the 36-37 week mark. I never imagined what was about to occur.

At my 24-week checkup, it was found that my blood pressure was high, after having been low or normal for my whole pregnancy (and even before I got pregnant). For some reason, the nurse didn't pass this information along verbally to my OB, and I wasn't going to mention it since the nurse didn't, and my OB didn't see it in my chart (I know, dumb). But Pete did say something to my OB, and, rightly concerned, she retested me a few times. When it was determined that it was indeed high and not a fluke, my urine was tested (no protein) and I was sent to convenient care to have blood drawn. Those tests came back negative for preeclampsia, so I was scheduled for a follow up the next week, just to be safe.

At the follow up exam, I again had high blood pressure (which shocked me, since I felt fine) and was immediately told to report to the hospital for further testing. I was told it would probably last a day or two, and that I might have to go on bed rest for the rest of my pregnancy. The worst-case scenario at that time was that I'd be in the hospital on bed rest, so Pete and I were hoping I'd be sent home on bed rest. I packed my bags at home, tearfully said goodbye to my pets (thinking I'd be gone a few days and somewhat scared of what was happening), and headed over to the hospital.

Of course, I got to L & D and my blood pressure was fine. They also hooked up Jack to a fetal monitor (on my belly) just to see how he was doing. It was only supposed to be on for an hour or so, but it was left on a little bit longer, and just happened to pick up several heart rate dips. Concerned, the staff decided to keep me overnight for further monitoring. They said I'd probably go home in the morning, and that the heart rate dips were probably from Jack moving around or getting wrapped up in his cord. An ultrasound performed by an OB at the hospital looked okay. I was relieved and tried to get some sleep.

The next morning I woke up to a swarm of concerned doctors and nurses around my bed. They said Jack's heart rate dips had increased overnight, and that he was in distress in utero. A more detailed ultrasound was performed during which it was discovered that not only was he in distress, but that my amniotic fluid was low, Jack was not growing properly (measuring 22-23 weeks), and the placenta's reduced blood flow was failing to support Jack. If he was not delivered soon, we would be having a stillborn baby in a week or two.

Suddenly I was looking at having my baby any day, and I was terrified. I didn't even know whether babies could survive so young. Steroid shots and a magnesium drip were administered, and after a few days it was decided that Jack had to come out. Jack was born on Halloween at 12:54 p.m., after an emergency c-section, and he came out crying quite loudly for such a little guy, which was encouraging. He was promptly sent to the NICU, where he remains to this day, three months later.

I'm still not sure what happened. I tested negative for preeclampsia, and although I was found to have the MTHFR gene mutation, it wasn't a factor (I was tested for this). So, although we are going through this nightmare with Jack, Pete and I still talk about having another baby in the future (I am 36 and time's ticking). We are obviously terrified, and will have to have high risk counseling to figure out what happened with Jack and what to do with any subsequent pregnancies. We absolutely don't want to put another baby through this (or ourselves for that matter). Although that's not a concern at the moment, it's always in the back of my mind, and I do want answers to what happened with Jack.

Fast-forward to today...Jack is doing fairly well after having endured the usual onslaught of micropreemie issues—PDA, CLD, NEC, ROP, etc. There were times I didn't think he would make it (many times, in fact) and lived in dread for that sudden call from the NICU at any given moment (I still do, to be honest). I only recently started buying him clothes and such, since I was terrified I’d somehow jinx the outcome if I did/did not buy him things. Jack was on a ventilator/oscillator for the first month and a half of his life, then bubble CPAP, then a nasal cannula. Jack was off of oxygen for five days, but sadly has had to go back on it, although it's only room air that he's getting at a low flow. I'd been concerned about his blood oxygen levels slowing going down during the last several days since he's been off his cannula (from the high 90s as recently as Wednesday, to the low-mid 80s today), and they originally told me this is not unexpected and that he is still doing well in their eyes. But that did not stop me from worrying, however, as everything makes me worry these days. And sure enough, he's back on oxygen again.

Jack is still being fed by an NG tube (feeding tube in his nose), although he is learning to bottle and breast feed right now and is doing quite well at both. Jack is in stage 2, zone 3 of ROP (with Plus disease), but his eye doctor said that Jack's had no change for a few weeks now, which is encouraging, since he is leaving that "danger zone" gestationally for ROP complications. Hopefully this means his ROP will reverse itself and he won't need laser surgery, but I am still obviously very concerned and sick to my stomach every time his Friday eye exam rolls around.

What else? Besides having Chronic Lung Disease and suffering from a recent head cold (for three weeks now), Jack has issues with reflux. He is on Reglan to control the reflux, although it's only been a little more than a week since he's been on it. He desats and has bradys every time he spits up (low blood oxygen levels and heart rate dips), sometimes repeatedly, which is scary and frustrating. We have to keep him upright during bottle feeds, and reclined after each feeding of any kind.

Other recent developments are that his caffeine was just stopped yesterday, he's off Pulmicort as of last week, his diuretic is being phased out, he's on a formula fortifier to get him to gain weight (which he's been doing fantastically with for the last few weeks), he just moved to a crib on Wednesday (yay!), and he's receiving ongoing speech, physical, and occupational therapy. He has a strong right side preference, and is a little stinker about fighting the PTs' and nurses' efforts to turn him to the left. Pete and I have been doing exercises with him to work on his tone and flexibility, and although he has some tremors, they are typical for his age right now (so they are telling us) and are not of immediate concern.

Jack never had a brain bleed, but did have some fluid on his brain that was "at the far end of normal," according to one of his doctors. A recent ultrasound suggests this is no longer an issue, and an echocardiogram a few days ago has cleared Jack of any cardiac issues. His PDA closed with medication early on (thank God) and he hasn't really had any other heart issues since then.

I'm currently working to get Jack some SSI benefits, and I am always weeding through the usual red tape and paperwork of medical bills and insurance. So far, so good, although the mounting bills certainly don't help me rest well at night.

As of today, Jack's doctors are telling me he'll be home (most likely) in 2-3 weeks. We're discussing whether we'll be sent home with oxygen and feeding tubes, which is a scary prospect. I'm hoping he is able to wean himself off the oxygen and fully master the art of bottle and breast feeding before then. He's doing really well, and I certainly believe he can do both. But if he needs help, I'm here for him, and I'll do my best to take care of him.

I can't wait to have Jack home....

NICU Anxiety

2010-02-05T14:49:00.008-06:00

(For some reason, Blogger isn't letting me upload photos today {I get a lot of HTML jibberish}, so this is one of the rare posts of mine without a photo.)

I'm stressing a bit right now, something that seems to hit me randomly as the weeks and months go on and on in the NICU. Today I went to the usual 11:00 feeding for Jack (he's learning to bottle feed), and a new nurse, Dani, was there with one of the regulars, Jane. Both are wonderful nurses and very sweet people, and greeted me with the usual smiles. I walked up to his crib, and Dani was performing a check on his lungs/heart/tummy with the stethoscope. She looked puzzled and asked Jane if she heard a murmur. I was surprised, since Jack's last echocardiogram was clean, and he's considered problem free in the cardiac department. Jane took a listen and confirmed the diagnosis of a murmur. I suddenly found myself crying, and ducked out of the way to get a kleenex. It happened so fast that they didn't even know I was crying, until I stepped back near the crib and they saw my face. Lots of consolation and soothing began, which made me cry even harder. Eventually I settled down, and was chatting and smiling with them, although I was still surprised at the sudden flow of tears, seemingly out of nowhere.

Then the speech therapist, Maha, came in, who works with Jack to teach him to feed. I sat down with Jack and started giving him a bottle. He was slow to start, and was not breathing well as he drank from the bottle. He started destatting quite a bit, and had some bradys (bradycardia, or heartrate dips), and again, the tears started flowing. The speech therapist didn't realize I was crying either, until I had to pass her the bottle so I could blow my nose and wipe my eyes. She was very nice and totally cool about my crying, but I was really embarrassed. The feeding continued, and I eventually got it together, as did Jack. We finished on a good note, with some loud burps from Jack and smiles too. But it was later passed along to one of Jack's doctors in the NICU that I had "showed anxiety" regarding his heart murmur. The doctor later stopped by to review Jack's day and listen to my concerns. I was a bit sheepish when he mentioned my "concern," but he was really nice about it, as everyone has been during the last 3+ months.

I'm not sure why I'm so embarrassed to cry while I'm there. I have no problem doing it in the car, or at home, or in front of Pete (he's really used to it by now). I'm sure I'm not the first person to cry in the NICU, and I'm definitely not the weepiest person ever. But for some reason I just have days where the anxiety is bubbling closer to the surface than it usually is, and I have a harder time controlling the emotions. I realized as I was driving home that I am under 24/7 stress, and have been for months now. That sort of stress and pressure will get to anyone, especially since it concerns my child, my baby, who has suffered since he was born (and even before that). I know he's doing really well right now, and his homecoming is on the horizon. Yet I still can't fully relax. Besides the constant stress of Jack's health on any given day (or even hour), there are the mounting medical bills (even with our good insurance), the reality that I'm still laid off and looking for work, with only occasional freelance jobs, the usual (growing) financial worries, worries about my own health and stamina, such things as staying in contact with friends and family, and of course the stress of daily life on top of all that.

I wish I could relax and let it all out, and feel free to cry at will. I've never been one of those people, and never will be, I think. I can distract myself from my own reality with thoughts about my upcoming baby shower and my registries, our furry children's antics (as annoying as they can be sometimes), my artistic pursuits, which have been put on hold for the last 3 months, and even basic things like going to a movie or playing with my new Wii. Pete is wonderful and supportive as always, but in a way, I'm burdened with the job of worrying for Jack. Pete does worry, don't get me wrong. But he is able to accept what is going on around him, and figures he won't waste time thinking about things until they're a real problem. He's also not involved with the daily care of Jack as much as I am, the medical bills, the social workers, the nurses and doctors (although he does visit Jack with me for several hours a day), and everything else going on behind the scenes. I am also still trying to get over what pregnancy and birth has done to my body, and am physically reminded on a continuous basis how traumatic Jack's birth and life has been for me so far, despite how wonderful and amazing he is.

Right now, my only consolation is to talk to others about it, blog about it, join micropreemie mom support groups, and to read about others' experiences, to know that I'm not alone, and to get questions and concerns answered. In the end, it's something I will continue to endure because I have received such a blessing and a gift in the form of my son.

The Preemie Experience by Sandra D. Moore

2010-01-30T13:00:00.001-06:00

The preemie experience is the shattering of all your dreams
For a normal, healthy delivery,
Of the ability to carry home a beautiful squirming bundle
After a short stay in the hospital.

It is lying there in your hospital room listening to
The happy sounds of whole families joined
Together by the birth of a grandchild, cousin, niece,
Or nephew, and knowing that your
Child is miles away and may not survive long enough
For you to see or simply touch.

It is that first glimpse of a skinny, scrawny, not much bigger
Than a Barbie doll child
And feeling, fear, awe, and joy for such a fragile soul.

It is sitting by your baby’s “bedside” day after day,
Week after week, month after month,
Alternating between the emotional high of “Look, her eyes are open,” or “She’s crying!”
And the lows of “I’m sorry, Mrs. Moore. Something has
Shown up in Lauren’s ultrasound,”
Or even “There is nothing we can do…”

It is hearing the alarms go off for the twentieth time in less
Than fifteen minutes because your
Child’s heart rate keeps hitting zero.

It is watching children dying around you, wondering if
Your child will be next.It is hearing your child’s cry of distress as the nurses
Insert yet another IV and do another
Round of daily blood tests.
It is meeting other parents of children who are doing far better
And wondering, “Why me?”
And meeting parents of children who have just died,
And praising God for His mercy
To your child and feeling guilty because your child is alive
And someone else is grieving for theirs.
It is days of nightmarish testing and coping with less
Than positive results to the tests.
It is days of joy at seeing the first eyelash appear,
The child gain a whole ounce in one day,
And two bright shiny eyes look at you and into your soul,
And knowing that your child now recognizes you as Mama or Dada;
Or perhaps looks at you and does not see you at all…

It is that final hurdle before coming home!
It is the sorrow of waiting for the monitor company
Representative to show you what to do
If the alarm sounds when your child is choking,
Gasping for breath, or simply dying.
It is the joy of just being away from all those nurses
And tubes and wires and beeps, and
Walking into the nursery you hastily prepared because, after all,
The child wasn’t due for another three months!

It is thinking the nightmare is over…only to realize it still
Continues in the form of
Such acronyms as PVL, RSV, BPD, CP and numerous others.

It is the final realization that those developmental delays
Have to be dealt with,
That reflux is a normal and unfortunate occurrence in most preemies,
That the constant fight to gain weight is in direct proportion
To a preemie’s ability to do so.

It is watching a child struggle to pick up his or her head, sit,
Crawl, or walk.
It is witnessing only silence when the child should be babbling,
Because the child cannot hear.

It is the mental images of a child running and playing
And communicating with others in a
Perfectly normal manner that are marred when you face years of therapy
In order to simply get the child to eat by himself or herself,
To talk or walk and then run.

The preemie experience is a journey…
A journey through your soul in order to find the faith and strength to cope,
A journey of the mind when you face the emotional weariness,
A journey of the heart…to accept that, no matter what,
This child is yours,
And you will love this child no matter what.

Peter Fonda's coming to town!

2010-01-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

This Saturday, Peter Fonda will be visiting the Hollywood Palms Theater in Naperville during a screening of "Easy Rider." Just like when Zuzu came to town, we'll get to meet him in person, get autographs, and listen to him talk a little about the movie before it begins. It should be fun and exciting.

Maybe Pete will be all crazy and do his Jack Nicholson impression for Mr. Fonda? It was such a hit last time when he did his best Jimmy Stewart and Mr. Potter imitations for Zuzu.

Bottle-drinking champ

2010-01-28T11:05:00.004-06:00

Well, while I sit here waiting for the SSI social worker to call (uh hello, you said 11:00?), I figured I'd whip out a post.

Yesterday was awesome. I had a great call from the doctor regarding Jack's progress. Not only was his echocardiogram normal (meaning his heart is okay), but he may be getting off oxygen soon too! And that's not the best part....

Yes, Jack drank A FULL FEEDING from a bottle for the first time yesterday! I was so happy, I actually did a happy dance in my living room once I hung up with the doctor. I was really getting worried about this, since he's now 38 weeks as of today, and this is one of the things he needs to be able to do before he goes home. I was so thrilled to hear this news. And I was hoping he'd do another bottle feed when we visited him last night, but he was cranky and tired, and not up for it. He also had PT come in, and threw a fit while the therapist was there. But a change of diaper transformed his mood, as it always does.

I'm hoping to put him to breast soon, or at least nuzzle him (let him "play" with the breast and get used to it), but that hasn't happened yet. All in good time, I suppose. I wish I were at the hospital for his 11:00 feeding, but I can't go anywhere until this SSI person calls. Frustrating. I should have given them my cell phone number and not my home number.

Yeah, it's no big deal...I'm my father's son, remember? I LIVE to eat!

Well, I'm off to check my messages, just in case someone called while I was in the shower earlier. Just thought I'd share the good news with you all!

On the horizon...

2010-01-27T12:47:00.005-06:00

My little peanut

He's getting so big. I bought some preemie outfits on clearance at Carter's last week, and they fit him quite well. Some of the onesies fit like a glove. I love this little outfit he has on, a striped onesie and some lion foot pants. So cute! And look how big our Jack-Jack is getting.

Pete and Jack have such a great relationship already. They love to nap together in the big lazy boy chair in Jack's room. Here it looks like they're having a discussion.

Anyhow, I am going to try to blog more regularly. I'm not sure how much time I'll have to check out other people's blogs, which I desperately miss. But I wanted to share with you all how things are going. People are concerned how Jack is doing, and I feel bad that I'm not updating as regularly as I could be.

I'm also debating how to chronicle Jack's life, and our life with Jack. I was thinking of starting a separate blog devoted to him, but I also pondered just continuing this one and posting here. I sure don't have time for extra writing, which would be required for a separate blog. But this blog has never been focused on any one thing in my life. I do think that I'd still want to talk about other things besides Jack though (perish the thought! lol). The furry children are all still here. My freelance work still continues to hum along, albeit slowly and sporadically. Pete and I still have our ups and downs (mostly ups). And of course, my love for shoes has not gone away since I became a mother, so there's always that. So I want to decide soon which way I go, because I really want to share my journey with you all as the mom of a micropreemie.

Anyhow, Jack is struggling with eating right now. He is almost 38 weeks gestationally (3+ months chronologically) and is falling behind on learning to bottle/breast feed due to a nagging head cold and bad reflux issues, which is common in preemies. And his chronic lung disease isn't going anywhere, sadly. They're possibly starting him on Reglan this week, to see if that helps the reflux. And bottle feeds are being started up again, after a week-long delay. I still haven't put him to breast yet, not even to nuzzle. All in good time, I suppose.

A fun thing on the horizon (besides planning for Jack to come home) is the planning of my baby shower. Yeah, I know, I'm doing it backwards by having the baby FIRST and THEN the baby shower, but that's life for ya. I'm excited to see how the party is being planned, and picking out stuff for my registry was a blast. I can't wait to be like other moms and push my baby around in a stroller, bathe him in a tub, tuck him into his crib, play with him, etc., all in my own home. I loved checking out the different travel systems and debating which one to choose. Lots of fun, but a bit overwhelming.

In the meantime, I'm behind on cleaning the floors in this house. I have to stay in mom-mode, as I call it, and I have a duty to keep this house as clean as possible for Jack's eventual homecoming. I'm off to vacuum with my Bissell Pet Hair Eraser and Featherweight vacuums. Good times, right?

Have a lovely Wednesday!

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen (Adapted from Erma Bombeck)

2010-01-20T16:46:00.001-06:00

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see—ignorance, cruelty, prejudice—and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.

"A mirror will suffice."

Baby Jack Update, 1-17-10

2010-01-17T14:08:00.009-06:00

Wow...I look at that picture from November, and I'm amazed at how much Jack has changed since then. Look at my cute little elf! Here he his, sucking on his beloved pacifier:

If you haven't noticed, I am not currently blogging, due to the situation with Jack and the incredible amount of time and energy I have been devoting to his care. I have been prepping our house for his eventual homecoming, which I am hoping will be mid to late February, as the doctors have suggested (nothing is written in stone, however). That has entailed lots of scrubbing, hauling boxes, moving furniture, etc., since he will still be rather fragile when he comes home (and for a long time afterward) and needs an exceptionally clean environment.

In addition, there are the daily visits to Jack that usually end up being 4-5 hours at a minimum, but are usually longer. The visits are wonderful, and filled with kangaroo time, teaching him to feed, and meeting with doctors, nurses, and various therapists. Add to that the seemingly endless pumping I must do (I'm usually good for 6-8 a day, although I should do more) and the continued daily life on the side that everyone experiences, which still includes job hunting and freelancing, and you can see why I am so overwhelmed most days. My bloodpressure continues to be an issue, although I'm hopeful I can get off the medication as I lose weight (which is another burden for me right now) and exercise more. There is just not enough time in the day, and I am always tired, but I'm a mommy and I have a purpose, and that keeps me going.

Anyhow, Jack is doing great at the moment. He is 11 weeks old, 36 weeks gestation, and weighs a whopping 1490 g (3 lb 4 1/2 oz). He has ROP (retinopathy of prematurity) but it's still at stage 2, zone 2, and hasn't really changed from last week. We are hopeful that it regresses like it does for many preemies. Jack is usually breathing room air (21% oxygen) and at a low flow (.9 L) on a nasal cannula. His feedings are up to 27 cc every 3 hrs, with fat and protein being added to my breast milk for weight gain. Jack is working with various therapists to learn how to eat and strengthen his muscles. Best of all, he is blossoming into a beautiful little baby boy, with a very vibrant personality...although we, as his parents, might be a little biased.

Thanks, as always, for the prayers and well wishes for our little "spitfire," as one of his nurses called him yesterday...it means the world to Pete and me. I love reading your comments, and it makes me feel good to know so many people out there care. I hope to update everyone more frequently than I have been, but I have a feeling I'll have my hands full for the next few months.

Hope you are all having a wonderful 2010!

Baby Jack Update, 11-25-09

2009-11-25T13:51:00.003-06:00

Baby Jack, 11-17-09

Baby Jack is hanging in there. He had a tough week or two, but for the last several days he's been doing much better, thank God. He is gaining weight and getting stronger by the day. Tomorrow he'll be 29 weeks old. Pete and I are very in love with our little baby boy.

I'm still healing, which has been a slow road process for me. I'm also fighting high blood pressure, for which I'm taking medication now. Otherwise I have good days and bad days, depending on how I'm doing physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Thank you for all your words of encouragement and support. I haven't been able to blog since having Baby Jack, but just know that I appreciate all the comments and letters.

Our Halloween miracle

2009-11-10T22:30:00.003-06:00

Peter Jack Hoover Hoogestraat
Born 10-31-2009
1 lb, 4 oz and 11 inches long
25 weeks, 2 days

Jack today, at 26 weeks, 5 days

Stay strong and fight, our little jackrabbit. Mommy and daddy love you :)

Makin' groomki with ma

2009-10-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

On Monday I got to hang out with my mom for the day, and she took the time to teach me how to make a Polish dish called groomki—I am sure I'm totally misspelling this, but I can't find the name anywhere online. Essentially, it's rice and hamburger mixed together, which is then rolled up in a cooked cabbage leaf and covered with tomato sauce. I ate that from time to time as a kid, and Pete had actually heard of it before.

So I figured I'd learn how to make it, and it was pretty easy to make. Of course, Pete doctored his with shredded cheese, Ragu, cayenne pepper, and any other number of ingredients. We both had a couple of the rolls, and the dogs were drooling over it—even Spanky, who wasn't feeling well that night. Next recipe to learn: ma's egg bread.

Now it's Spanky's turn

2009-10-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

Our little man-fox Spanky (that's what Pete calls him) isn't feeling so well today, so I'm taking him to the vet. Pete and I were gone most of the day yesterday, and when we got home, we discovered he had puked in a few places around the house, and continued to puke on and off all night. Early this morning he was still puking, and although he hasn't puked since then, he isn't eating at all and looks miserable.

So now we'll "go see doctor," as I like to tell the animals when they don't know what's going on. They know what this phrase means, and I don't think Spanky is happy about it, but hopefully he'll get his tummy checked and will be feeling better soon.

And yeah, if you're keeping count, that's three pets in the last month that have been sick. The only one who's escaped this fate so far is Max. Hopefully he stays healthy, and this little curse of illness upon the Hoogestraat household ends with Spanky.

Peds with Jen

2009-10-25T12:00:00.000-05:00

Today Jen is treating me to a pedicure, a raincheck on a birthday gift from almost two months ago. I was in the middle of freelance mania back then and didn't have time to go with her. But now we're both ready to go, and sorely in need of a good trim and paint job. It's much too hard for me to reach my toes nowadays, so this will be quite the treat. I can't wait to relax in the chair, read magazines, and gossip with Jen while we watch stupid game shows on the shop's tv.

Hope your Sunday is just as relaxing as ours is. Ahhhhhh!

(Image from slideshow.ivillage.com)

Memorial for Sandy

2009-10-24T12:00:00.001-05:00

Today Pete and I are attending a memorial for Sandy, my aunt who passed away back in April. It's been a long time coming, and I'm sure it'll be an emotional event for everyone in the family.

I made a memorial board for her service (see above) that I think she would have liked. We don't have many pictures of her, so I figured I'd make it as nice and special as possible. I had leftover stuff from my wedding scrapbooking days (something I never finished), and it fit in perfectly with her memorial board.

We also have a communion picture (above) that was recently found in one of my grand aunt's trunks, who had passed away a few years ago. The picture is in excellent condition and stands up on its own, so I'm going to set it next to the board as part of the display.

As I mentioned, it's a long overdue service. But we all feel grateful that we can honor her in some way, and share our favorite memories of our beloved Sandy.

The Goofy-Pluto puzzle

2009-10-23T12:00:00.000-05:00

I noticed the other day that there's a bit of weirdness on my dogs' bag of treats. A cartoon dog cowboy, standing upright and decked out in cowboy gear including shirt, pants, and a hat, is holding up a freshly grilled piece of chicken...while another dog, who is NOT attired and is on all fours, eyes the meat and licks its lips. So, um, yeah, I'm puzzled by this, just as many have been puzzled by the Goofy versus Pluto mystery. Why is one like a person, and one is like...a dog? Hmmm....

(So) happy together

2009-10-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure why, but lately Pete and I have been in a really good place, as far as our relationship goes. We don't fight much, we have really interesting conversations, and we laugh and cuddle more than ever. Not that we were always fighting like cats and dogs before, but there just seems to be a sense of harmony that has settled over our home. Despite the extremely tight finances (uh, hello unemployment, furlough days, and tons of medical bills) and the usual bumpy road we travel called life, we've been pretty mellow and happy.

I think we are also both happy (and a bit scared) about Baby Jack coming, and are enjoying this strange journey together (where DID that belly come from???). I think Pete is settling into not only his role as a husband, but as a father and provider, and perhaps is enjoying it more and more. He is ready to take on his new roles, and seems to be so excited to make a difference in someone's life (Jack's).

So yeah, we're happy. It's a good place to be, and I hope it only gets better from here.

A bit of (cheap) bling for my iPhone

2009-10-21T12:00:00.002-05:00

My iPhone has been suffering lately. Although I'm pretty careful with it, and I have had a cover on it from day one (a hot pink silicone model), I do tend to throw it in my purse or pocket from time to time. And it does sometimes end up on the floor (accidentally, of course), through which it suffers quietly, but with no ill effects so far (thank God!).

Matt, Sam, and Mani have all gotten iPhones this past weekend, which has strangely made me excited for them. I shouldn't say strangely, because I'm weird like that. If someone gets something cool, especially if it's something I already own and that I know they'll love, I almost get more excited about it that the person getting the new thing. I had lots of fun hanging out with Matt this weekend and showing him all the apps, features, and little tricks and treats that come with his shiny new toy.

And I realized, looking at his pretty new iPhone, that mine has been neglected as of late. For something that has helped me so much, and that has entertained me for hours, I sure have not been babying it like I should (hey, I've got other things on my mind, lol). I figured I could at least upgrade the case it's in. The silicone case is looking pretty sad these days, with a couple of rips in the corners. Now, that alone wouldn't make me get a new case, but the rips cause the case to come off the phone very easily now, which causes the phone to either drop out of the case (bad when I'm walking around holding the phone), or for my hair/debris/scratches to get in there under the case. The hair thing is the worst, because it pulls my hair out when I'm talking to someone on the phone (it gets stuck in the case via those rips) and I end up yanking out a few precious strands at least a couple times a week. Ouch.

Matt and Pete, discussing iPhones, history, and life in general at Starbucks this weekend

So, after looking at Matt's pretty black leather case, I decided I should properly protect my investment and get a new case. But for me, this is no easy task. I'm a very, very picky person when it comes to stuff like this, and at the time I bought my case last year, there wasn't much to choose from. I went with hot pink silicone since Pete chose the basic black silicone (I don't want to mix up our phones). Even though I love Matt's black leather case, Pete had his phone stolen earlier this year, and ended up getting a new phone and a newer, better silicone case—but it's still a black case, so that color is a no no for me.

The online search then began, and I spent hours (I toldja I was picky) looking for just the right case. There were plenty of red leather ones online (I like red), but none of them were quite what I was looking for. I saw some nice silicone ones too, but they just weren't as appealing to me, now that I've had a silicone case for almost a year and a half. Then I saw this:

And I thought, oooooh, pretty! But for the price, I wanted to be super duper sure I liked it. And being the consummate online bargain shopper, I didn't just feel like plunking down the cash for it, until I was sure there was nothing else cheaper (or a cheaper source for this model). So the search continued, and I was lucky enough to stumble upon this one at Overstock.com:

I read reviews, checked out other competitors, and decided to go with the cheaper one from Overstock. I figure it's almost a third of the cost of the Case-Mate one, and if I truly like it, great, I saved money. If it doesn't work out, then I saved money on something I don't like. And it allowed me to get a nice red leather pouch in which to carry it (in my purse or car, where it tends to get knocked around a lot):

The coolest feature about the chrome cover? It comes with a mirrored screen protector:

Now yes, I've heard it's a bit hard to see in bright sunlight, so I'll determine whether I actually use the screen protector (I also have a clear one that Matt gave me on Saturday). But either way, it's a nice little upgrade for a device that has more than paid for itself since I bought it. And it's nice to go on a little shopping spree, even if I spent less than $30 total on my "crazy" purchases.

Out for a stroll

2009-10-20T12:00:00.000-05:00

Pete, the dogs, and I went for a stroll on Sunday. It was a gorgeous day, and I hadn't been walking for a while (the last time was during our camping trip). I had a great time, although I really got tired about 2/3 of the way into the walk. Baby Jack was pressing on my bladder, I was tired, and my legs were itching like mad—ever get that weird itchiness? It happens to me after I shave sometimes, especially when I used to go running (not doing that now, lol!).

Anyhow, I think I was a bit whiny, and Pete felt bad because I was uncomfortable. (Him: "You're tired? Really?" Me: "Uh, yeah! I'm lugging around an extra 30 pounds here!") But it was cute because we ran into some of his friends, and he was proudly showing off my big belly and telling everyone how happy he was to have his son on the way. So it was worth any discomfort to me to be out in the sunshine with my hubby and dogs, enjoying the vivid colors and warm sun, and stretching my (achy) legs a bit.

Poopy girl

2009-10-19T10:19:00.005-05:00

Poor Adora's been having some digestive issues lately. She's her same ol' spunky self, but her tummy isn't feeling all that great. She ate some steak bones on Friday night, and hasn't been eating the same since then. Hopefully things will stabilize, and she'll be back to her usual food-loving self.

Pumpkin pancakes...mmmm

2009-10-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

If I'm lucky, I'll be dining on pumpkin pancakes this morning, depending on whether the restaurant Pete and I are going to (with my parents and Matt) still have them. I dined on them a few weeks ago when having breakfast with my mom, and whooo, they were good. Bigger than the ones in this picture, more like the size of dinner plates, and sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar. My mom said they smelled good, and she hates pumpkin.

Anyhow, I know you can make them at home pretty easily. Just add pumpkin to your regular pancake mix and voila! Instant pumpkin pancakes. Of course, you can make them from scratch, and there are any number of recipes out there for just such a thing. Either way, they're wonderful and I highly recommend eating them.

Happy fall!

(Image from continentalmills.com)

Way to go, hubby!

2009-10-15T22:47:00.005-05:00

Pete, recently featured in his company's first official newsletter. That's him in the lower left corner, standing with his boss, wearing safety glasses and grinning. But they spelled Pete's name wrong.

I'm so proud of Pete. Today he passed the second test needed to be certified for stainless steel welding (10 and 18 gauge). He has struggled a bit with these tests, but he aced this one today. It was great to see him come home, grinning ear to ear, and just so happy and relieved. He's still on cloud 9, hours later. He wants to take the galvanized steel tests next, but for now, he's a happy man. As he put it, "I have great a family and friends, a woman who loves me, a baby on the way, and I passed the test!"

Of course, then he strapped on his leathers and welding helmet, and I had trouble concentrating on the stew I was making. There is something really, really nice about him all decked out in his welding gear...that's all I'll say.

Put on your mom jeans

2009-10-10T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have had trouble maintaining that sexy frame of mind as my belly, thighs, and bosom endlessly expands. And although Pete calls me Sexy Bear and thinks my new shape is cute, I just don't feel all that...sexy right now.

Well, let me tell you, while maternity pants help you to maintain a normal appearance, and they make you look as good as possible, they are not the prettiest thing in the world. Pete likes to tease me about my "mom jeans," even though I hadn't bought ANY maternity pants or jeans until today (I've been wearing large, low rise pants with drawstrings or elastic waist bands up til this point).

I take exception at my wardrobe being compared to those ultimate symbols of frumpiness, though. I do not see a tapered leg or pleated panel anywhere on these babies, a la the traditional model of the mom jean. My new pant s (jeans and cords) are all about boot cuts and curve-hugging fit, and are as close to my old wardrobe as I'm gonna get, with my extra large booty and waddle-inducing belly.

Anyhow, I'm excited to be wearing something that isn't squeezing my waist or belly, that I don't have to wear a belly band with (Baby Jack doesn't seem to like it when I wear them), and that doesn't create that oh so attractive muffin top I've been sporting lately. Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and wear whatcha gotta wear, whether they be mom jeans...or something completely different.

(Figurine from miund.wordpress.com)

That's why I love him

2009-10-09T18:55:00.005-05:00

Pete and me at Fogo de Chão last year, where we had also dined on our first date.

Five years ago today, Pete and I met. It has been a wonderful time since, and through all our ups and downs, we've been very happy together.

Tonight we were sitting around the tv as we often do most nights, watching something on the Military Channel (his choice), covered in snoozing cats and dogs, and our bellies full of McDonald's cheeseburgers. Pete suddenly looked at me and said, "Hey! Let's both concentrate on this pencil here and see if we can make it move by telekenisis." He had an eager look on his face, and carefully set the pencil on top of one of his car books, ready to concentrate.

I started laughing, and said, "See? That's why I love you! Because a normal night for us is watching tv, surrounded by animals, and spending our free time trying to make a pencil move. This is our lives together." And I laughed some more.

Pete smiled and seemed startled by this, but very pleased, and we eventually went on to throwing our brain waves at the pencil (it wiggled, but that was all). Good times.

I'm happy to have known you these five good, long years, my love.

Free 6-month online Photoshop Course

2009-10-08T13:50:00.002-05:00

There is a free 6-month online Photoshop course if you're interested. One is broadcasting live right now (classes are every Thursday), but you can join in anytime.

Me and the motley crew

2009-10-08T13:09:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure why, but lately the pets seem to be swarming around me, more so than usual. They like to lay all over my expanding belly, or snuggle next to me on the couch. I don't know if they sense that there's another little life present in the house, but I'm not complaining about the increased affection (for the most part, lol).

Last night, three of them—Adora, Spanky, and Dollie—spontaneously gathered around me on the couch and hovered around me for a good five minutes. It was so odd and funny that I quickly snapped a photo with my Mac (I was working on my laptop). They were being goofy and rubbing against me and each other, and even Baby Jack was wiggling in sympathy.

ShakeItPhoto

2009-10-07T13:07:00.004-05:00

I just got this cool iPhone camera app called ShakeItPhoto, which makes your pictures look like a Polaroid. It was fun to play around with, and I tested it out on Adora. It's only 99¢, so it's a cheap way to have more fun with your iPhone's camera.

(Images from ShakeItPhoto.com)

A nightly ritual

2009-10-02T12:00:00.001-05:00

Me, Dollie, Spanky (by my belly), and Adora

This is how we end up every night, with me snuggling under a blanket and the dogs/cats piled around me, sleeping. The only one who didn't join us last night was Max, who was off prowling around in the basement somewhere, I'm sure. Sometimes we mix it up and they all lay on Pete, or we split them 50/50. It's hard to move with dogs and cats on you, but it's super cozy!

I know I'm already jumping the gun on this, but...

2009-10-01T13:50:00.002-05:00

I want to dress Baby Jack as a pumpkin next year for Halloween. How cute is that? A real Jack O' Lantern, lol! I haven't told Pete yet, but I'm sure he'll think it's cute. I'm going to prowl the clearance racks in the baby stores after Halloween and see if I can find a costume for next year.

Long overdue update

2009-09-30T12:07:00.009-05:00

Pete, me, dad, and ma sitting around the fire, eating dinner

Well, how are you all? I'm pretty good. I've been gone from the blogging scene for a while, so I thought I'd pop in. I don't know about any of you who have been pregnant or have kids, but it certainly seems to put a crimp in how much time I'm on the computer, especially with blogging. I miss it, but most days I'm unable to get around to posting anything, much less taking pix for my photography blog, vivid.

Anyhow, the project I mentioned in the previous post is STILL going on. Not to the same degree it was before, but there are revisions that still trickle in here and there. Today I actually have to change something back to the color it was before, even though a previous revision asked for the color change. It's kinda funny, but hey, at least I'm getting paid for it, eh?

And I was able to get back onto unemployment this morning, so that's a big relief. The guy said it shouldn't be a problem for future projects, which is good, because I think more might be coming down the pike (I hope).

Well, what have you all been up to? Busy? Not so much?

We went camping this weekend on our big annual family camping trip. It's our 8th year (I think), and it was quite different this year with all the babies and me being pregnant (and quite pregnant right now, in my mind, although it'll get worse, I know). Here's a shot of me on the beach in Peninsula State Park in Door County, Wisconsin. Yikes! That's some baby belly!

That's my dad behind me, and Spanky at my feet.

We had a great time, and it did rain a little, but not too much. We hiked and went to town too, but I quickly realized how little stamina I have now that I'm pregnant.

Here's a group shot on the last day. I had a meltdown about 30 min. before this picture was taken because I had a severe migraine and bad allergies that would not stop, and Tylenol/caffeine was NOT making them go away. But as you can see, I was not the only weepy person in the group!

(From left to right, front row) Me, Hambone, Sam, Jane, Henry, ma, Jonneal, Tallulah, dad, Otto; (back row) Mani, Pete, Adora, Quinn

Anyhow, I am slowly feeling better, although I still don't feel 100% as of today.

Some GOOD news we got on Friday morning, before leaving for the trip: Little Baby Hoogestraat is a..............BOY!!! Yup, we are the proud future parents of little Peter Jack, a.k.a. Jack (we're calling him by his middle name, since he's a junior). Here's pix of him from the ultrasound on Friday.

Jack's profile

He was quite an active little boy, squirming and kicking all over the place. The tech and doctor were quite amused.

Frontal view of Skeletor—I mean Jack

Pete swore up and down since day one that it was going to be a girl, but I refused to call the baby anything but "it." Well, when the tech rolled the wand over his little bottom and said, "Yep, that's definitely a boy!", Pete's jaw dropped and he was speechless.

Yup...it's a boy!

I just started laughing because Pete was soooo sure, as were 90% of everyone else who was guessing. I must admit I was even a little surprised because of my "girl" symptoms, but I also had "boy" symptoms too—mild morning sickness, craving meat/dairy, etc. I think Pete bet Steve a 12-pack of beer that it'd be a girl. Well, Steve is ready to collect!

Jack likes to use these feet all the time on my insides, lol.

Anyhow, we are both thrilled and glad that we can start calling him by his name, buy him gender-specific clothes, etc.

Other than that, not much else going on. Dollie was sick for a while, but she seems to be getting better. Looks like her throat is raw, but they don't know why. Maybe she ate something she shouldn't have? I know she's fond of plants.

Our little goofball is doing a lot of this lately—sleeping.

I'm still unpacking from our trip, doing what I can while I have the energy. Mainly I'm trying to take it easy and rest, because I think I overdid it this weekend. I'm not used to being limited in what I can do (besides issues with Hooveritis), and I think I pushed myself a bit too hard. But you live and learn, and little Jack seems none the wiser of his mama not taking it easy. He's still kicking and rolling around in there as always!

Well, I hope all is well with you guys. I hope to start posting regularly again, and reading all my favorite blogs. I'll have to pick up the camera and start shooting again too. I hope my fatigue and headaches/backaches ease a bit to help me with this, but we'll see.

Have a happy Wednesday!

Super-duper busy mode

2009-09-08T16:53:00.006-05:00

My hastily assembled work area in the kitchen, complete with coffee mug and unopened baby listening monitor on the table—I hope to open the monitor and actually use it, once hell-week is over.

I've been scarce for several days (and will continue to be for a few more) while I finish up a freelance project I'm working on. The deadline suddenly changed, and time to finish the work was suddenly in very short supply. So, I've been living and breathing this project for days now. I'll resurface in a few days and go back to blogging (and reading my favorite blogs).

Oh, and meanwhile, Pete is already recovering and in therapy for his knee. He'll be off for another week and a half, which is wonderful because I love hanging with him, but I'm going crazy from watching the Military Channel and cleaning up after him—but what else is new?

Anyhow, hope you all had a great holiday weekend...now back to the drawing board!

Spanky and Max, looking outside together during a moment of inter-species harmony

A bad case of the dropsies, or, a benefit of having dogs

2009-09-05T12:00:00.000-05:00

I have been incredibly clumsy lately, and, as with everything I don't want to take the blame for, I'm blaming this on my pregnant state. As with the peas the other day, I somehow magically flung a dog bowl full of chicken and broccoli soup onto the floor during a recent lunch. I don't even know what happened, because the bowls weren't that full, and Spanky's food made it to the floor still in its container. But when I went to put Adora's dish down, it instead flew out of my hand and (of course) landed upside down, soup everywhere. I quickly looked around and started grabbing paper towels, but Adora was one step ahead of me. She cleaned that floor up like a good little Hoover (Hoogestraat) should, and Spanky even came in after her to do some light spot cleaning. I was left with a slightly sticky, wet floor, which was easily cleaned with moistened paper towels and dish soap. Everyone benefited from my channeling of Dick Van Dyke (as Pete likes to call me during my clumsier moments), which is how it should be, right?

Going under the knife (or laproscope)

2009-09-04T12:00:00.004-05:00

Pete is having knee surgery today for a torn medial meniscus (the cushion between his femur and tibia, in his knee—see diagram). And, as a loving and caring wife, I'm a bit worried about him, although it's an outpatient procedure and fairly small scale as far as surgeries go. But it's his first surgery, so he's a bit worried and scared, as am I. Please keep him in your thoughts today, that all will go swimmingly and he'll be running around in no time.

(Image from amazinghealing.com)

What makes it all worthwhile

2009-09-03T12:29:00.006-05:00

The it...

...and why it's all good in the end...

(This made me cry, I was so touched.)

On the inside:

(Printed) Wishing you a day blooming with happiness!

(Written by Pete) "I thought you should get used to this kind of card. Anyway, it's practice. To my loving wife on her birthday."

My first "mom" card ever. It was so touching that he took the time to pick out a card that would mean so much to me, and wrote some personal thoughts in it as well. This was accompanied by a dozen red roses, a belly rub, dinner at our favorite Indian restaurant, and a movie (Public Enemy) at the dollar theater—during which he excitedly whispered facts in my ear about the gangsters, cars, and guns in the movie. So cute.

I love my husband.

P.S. I'm feeling MUCH better today, so I am feeling smiley and positive :)

Abs-olutely miserable

2009-09-03T12:00:00.002-05:00

DISCLAIMER: I sometimes worry that I'll turn people off (my readers, that is) if I start talking too much about one thing, or not enough about another. And then I realize that hey, this blog is about ME, and it's about my life and family/friends and what I'm going through or thinking about on any particular day. And if I want to talk about pregnancy stuff ad nauseum (ha ha, cuz that's certainly part of pregnancy), then I will. This is my outlet for my inner being, and if people want to come here to share, that's great. If not, there are a million other blogs out there with more exciting content. I don't mean to sound all hard-ass, I guess it's just my way of making a disclaimer about this post and past/future posts regarding my current favorite subject: pregnancy.

One of the things that has been plaguing me throughout my pregnancy (besides headaches, acne, and the occasional moody breakdown), probably since day one, is abdominal pain. This one has caught me by surprise, because I've never heard of women suffering so much from this as I have. Oh sure, I've heard complaints of back pain, or bloating, or the wonderful headaches (which I'm already used to, pre-pregnancy). But the abdominal pain is something I didn't expect to have so much trouble with.

I definitely expected to have problems with my abs, since there's a lot going on there with muscles growing/stretching/moving, and obviously that's going to cause some discomfort and pain (mostly pain for me). But when I ask other women if they suffered from this, they all seem surprised or a bit confused, and only say that they had a little discomfort or problems with their abs, and that's about it. I was in pretty good shape when I got pregnant, just 10-15 pounds over my "goal" weight, but with really strong abs that could do 50-100 crunches easily. So concerned, I asked my doctor about it last week. She said it's normal, and unless it feels like contractions (it doesn't) then she could only offer me advice (Tylenol, rest, heating pads) and some sympathy. I've tried them all, and they only take the edge off the continuous pain. There's not much help on the Internet either, only a few other women complaining of the level of pain that I've experienced—surprisingly, more in my second trimester, since this is supposed to be my "golden time" of pregnancy.

Pete does not seem to understand how much this hurts me, almost on a daily basis, and it's much worse some weeks than others (this is a bad week). He understands back pain, and often gives me massages (which he is used to from the Hooveritis problems I've had), but whenever I mention how much my belly hurts, he typically just says "Oh" and goes about what he was doing. I know he doesn't mean anything by that, but to not have your husband understand and sympathize with your pain is hard.

So the only thing that offers relief is when my abs decide to stop stretching so much, and I go back to feeling happy and content again. It's almost magical when I don't hurt all the time, when I'm happy to be pregnant and can feel the baby kicking down below. That's a side effect of the ab pain—I don't feel the baby kicking much at all, and that makes me hurt physically AND emotionally. I start freaking out and worry that the little bean is suffering, or not growing properly, or even dead in there, and I worry endlessly until I feel the occasional kick. It's scary, because I normally feel him/her quite frequently during my "good" days, so to feel nothing most of the day is very difficult.

I'm certainly not complaining about being pregnant, and for the most part, it's been wonderful. I had hardly any morning sickness (3 weeks of strong queasiness) and the headaches only hit a few times a week, no more frequently than my past migraines did (which were much worse). The acne? Well, I can deal with that, I certainly have in the past. A full bladder at night hurts a lot, rather than being uncomfortable, but our bed is 15 feet from the bathroom, and nightly trips are normal to me now. Even the back pain is tolerable, having dealt with that so much in my life.

But the ab pain is horrible. From rolling over in bed (the worse), to just sitting in a chair drawing at my computer, it's agony. The pain has been pretty much non-stop since Sunday, and the last time this happened, it lasted a week (which was a few weeks ago). I can only hope that in a few days (or sooner, if I'm lucky) the pain will subside and I'll be back to my rotund, waddling self, happy to be growing and changing along with the baby. I do wonder if the pains are signs of the baby going through growth spurts (certainly my uterus is), and that's a small consolation to me, something I can hang on to in order to deal with something I have little control over.

I hate to use this as a forum for complaining about something so wonderful as having a baby. But I feel like I can share with you all, and just get the feelings out there, if not for relief, then for a small peace of mind...to get all this ugliness off my chest. And yes, I'm glad to say I can feel the little bean kicking right now as I type this, so I feel a little better about things, if not in body, then in mind.

Thanks for listening, and I hope to be back to a happy, goofy, regularly-scheduled post tomorrow.

(Image from sheknows.com)

Thirty-six

2009-09-02T12:00:00.006-05:00

Me at seven. I love my gap-toothed grin and wonderful posture in this picture.

Yup, it's that time of year again. It's the time of year when I usually get really depressed for no reason and feel sorry for myself. That was the case last year.

Not sure why I get so moody on my birthday, but this year? None of that. Which surprises me, because I'm laid off, underemployed, and money has been tight—Pete has had his of hours cut, too. And now with the baby on its way, I often lay in bed at night, worrying about the future and what I'll do when unemployment runs out, hopefully something which I won't have to worry about til next year (please please please give me an extension, IDES!).

But things just seem rosier now for some reason. I think there are many reasons for that. The fact that I'm no longer working at a job that I've HATED for the last few years is one. The fact that I'm starting to mix things up with my freelance work and continue to do what I love, at home. The fact that I get to work at home (for now), preparing for the future, for when I am taking care of our little bean and so lucky to be able to spend my time with him/her. And that's one of the biggest facts of all: the little bean. I've droned on and on about how wonderful life is with the baby coming and with something meaningful to look forward to, but I gotta tell ya, it's true. It does change so much, and he/she isn't even here yet.

True, my health still isn't wonderful. A lot of that has to do with being preggers, and I think that tends to distract me from the fact that there are still underlying health issues that I'll have to deal with once the baby is born. But again, I have the opportunity to raise a child, love them, teach them, laugh and cry with them, and of course, lose lots and lots of sleep. But it's all worth it.

I also just feel more comfortable in my own skin. The fact that Pete still finds me pretty when I have a face full of acne (thanks, hormones), or that he calls me Sexy Bear in my pregnant state and actually finds me attractive (yet cute with the tummy and all), does a lot for me confidence-wise. So does the fact that I don't care if I have 2 readers of my blog, or 22 readers, or whatever; my blog is for me, and for those who care to see how I am or what's bugging me or what's making me (or them) laugh. So does the fact that I can have fun with my camera and try new things and play as if I were a little kid again—albeit, a kid with an expensive and complicated camera. So does the fact that I have a loving family and friends who never notice when I've put on 10 pounds (well, until now, lol) or when my hair is misbehaving (almost daily) or when something isn't fitting quite right. They do notice when I'm not feeling my best, and they are always there to help me feel better, offer advice, make me laugh...whatever it takes.

So, to cut this ramble short, I just wanna say that 36 is looking pretty darn good. Yeah, it's on an average weekday, and not on the usual holiday weekend it falls on 3/4 of the time (grrr). Sure, I have no particular plans today and we'll probably just eat meatloaf I plan on making for dinner. And yes, life will go on as always, trudging (or leaping or rushing or tip-toeing) toward 37, then 38, and beyond. And I'm cool with that. I haven't been able to say that for several years, but I definitely feel it this time around.

Happy Wednesday, September 2nd, everyone!

Missing that caffeine magic

2009-09-01T12:00:00.000-05:00

This tin poster (a birthday gift from Sam years ago) is in my kitchen, and makes me smile.

As I sit here trying to come up with some witty, colorful illustrations, I realize how much I rely on caffeine to fuel my creative urges. And because I have to limit my caffeine, my lack of "energy" is definitely affecting my creative urges. Which is obvious, because I'm busy blogging instead of drawing. I'm not sure how to get into the zone and be all hyped up about what I'm working on without chemical intervention. It's quite frustrating, and I find myself procrastinating or getting distracted by other things (blogging, tv, the pets, housework) just to avoid having to be imaginitive and innovative.

How does one get past this block? I know I've blogged about it before, but it seems even more difficult now. And I don't have the luxury of time to wait for inspiration to hit, so what is one to do? This has been a problem for me as a freelance creative person, and it's always something I struggle with. I wonder what the solution is, and how to get into the correct frame of mind to do what I need to do (and WANT to do, dammit). I know deadlines can be quite convincing, but I don't want to fall into that trap again and again. And since I'm working with a few new clients, I want to make a good impression.

So...what to do? Any suggestions from those who have to be "on" for certain projects?

Crying over spilled peas (and a pork chop)

2009-08-31T12:00:00.004-05:00

Remember how yesterday I was semi-bragging (okay, gloating, really) about how mellow and cool I am? About how nothing phases me, and I pooh-pooh minor things like using the wrong flour and making messes? Well...I wasn't feeling that chill vibe later in the day. Well, most of the day. Yesterday was just a difficult day, mostly owing to a couple of things:

Being pregnant and being tired/constantly pulling my ab muscles/having back pain/being moody/having headaches/hurting in various other places
Not getting quality sleep this weekend, due to dogs running amok and waking me up every half hour (we had a dog house guest who has since departed)
Being pregnant
Having a deadline looming in a few weeks that's freaking me out (yes, plenty of time, but still!)
Being pregnant
Worrying about not working/not having money
Being pregnant

Anyhow, I held it together most of the day, long enough to pick up a few things at Target, find the Illustrator book I was looking for at Borders, clean, bake a loaf of bread (in the machine), and do a little blogging (which mostly involved looking up recipes and getting distracted by links to other blogs). I won't lie to ya, I was hurting all day, very tired, headachey, and just uncomfortable. The lovely abdominal pains didn't want to let up all day, so I was having fun tolerating those as I moved around, doing my thing. But all in all, I held it together pretty well.

That is, until I showed Pete a 3D image of a 16-week fetus (my current stage) and tried to wow him with interactively rotating it 360 degrees for his amazement. He wasn't so amazed but merely amused, and made some goofy comments about the baby image and walked away. Now, normally that would not phase me and I might even laugh. But not yesterday. This set off a chain reaction made of hormones, tears, and more hormones and tears. After getting weepy for a few minutes, I decided to heat up a leftover chop and peas from Saturday night. I cut away the bone from the chop's meat, and as I tried to slide the bone into the garbage, my entire plate and dinner somehow fell out of my hands and shattered on the floor. Yes, there were peas and pork and plate chunks all over the place. This set off even MORE tears, after which Pete sensed he should get his butt in the kitchen and soothe and help me. I, of course, in my hormonally-hijacked body, tearfully tried to push him away, more for dramatic effect than anything. A wobbly, weepy pregnant woman was no match for Pete, and he succeeded in shooing me away and cleaning up the mess ("But there's peas under the wall!" I wailed, to which he calmly replied he would take care of it.)

Of course, it wasn't enough that I was hurting, weepy, and tired. I had to ignore Pete's suggestion that I go rest, and instead I started washing dishes (well, we DID have a sink full of them). He asked what he could do to help me, after offering me the remaining chop several times (I declined). I did shakily suggest he could rub my back later, "if he wanted to," to which he wisely agreed. I finished the dishes and heated up some hot chocolate, which I finished in a few gulps in front of my laptop, reading blogs. Pete retired to the living room and watched some Military Channel show about ultimate battles (Note: I really don't like the Military Channel.). I eventually calmed down and contemplated what to eat, since I steadfastly refused the extra chop and anything else Pete attempted to bribe me with ("Potatoes? No? How about the noodles? No? Okay...")

I have since slowly reverted to my pre-hysteria state, although I am still hurting and tired. It doesn't make me feel like drawing cartoons all day, but that is what I must do.

So the next time I drone on and on about being so above it all and in a state of pregnant bliss, ignore me. Or at least take it with a grain of salt (and a side of pork and peas). Just remember I have a bucket load of hormones cursing through my body, as well as a gigantic belly that puts a strain on my poor system (and it's only going to get worse). At least I recognize my weaker moments, eh?

(Image from Terrystuff)

Not quite ready to graduate from cooking school

2009-08-30T12:00:00.000-05:00

As a side note to last night's wonderful dinner, I must admit it started out a bit shaky. I mentioned I had to run out to get bread flour from the store, right? So off I went, made my purchase, and returned home with said flour in hand.

I set the bag on the counter next to the bread machine, and carefully read the recipe instructions. And what kind of flour did I end up using? No, not the bread flour that was sitting right next to the bread machine, but the bag of all-purpose flour that was way up high in the baking stuff cabinet. I actually had to get a chair, climb up, find the bag, open it, measure it out, and pour it in the bread pan. I didn't realize my blunder until a good 15 minutes later, when I was thinking about how to store the extra bread flour and realized that I never even opened the bread flour. And to my horror, I saw the all-purpose flour sitting innocently on the counter, far from the bread machine, but obviously opened and used.

Meanwhile, the bread machine churned away, merrily mixing up the rogue dough with nary a worry.

Oh well. There's no emergency stop button on the bread machine, so I had to make do and whip up another loaf of bread. Funny, cuz in the past that would have sent me into a frenzy of panic and anger, but I just shrugged, called myself a dum-dum, and started making those lovely Ghirardelli brownies.

Is it the influence of the little person who's on his/her way? I think so. So much is starting to roll off my back, and things seem less critical than they used to. Getting upset over wonky bread is not worth the time and effort. And the little bean was popping about inside me as I baked (poorly), reminding me that there are so many other things in life to worry about that are far more important. And after all, who can get mad when you've got brownies baking in the oven?

(Cookie image courtesy of Cookie Madness)

LIttle miss chef

2009-08-29T13:48:00.007-05:00

I'm in a cooking/baking mood today, perhaps because of the recent run of cool, rainy weather. Fall-like temps make me want to cook like mad, warming up the house with rich, fragrant smells from bubbling pots and steaming pans of goodies.

Today I'm making a lovely Saturday-night special dinner for two of my favorite guys: Pete, and my dad. My dad is all by his lonesome tonight, due to my mom working and my little brother camping up north with my older brother. So I invited him over for dinner, and when I read the menu to him, he was more than happy to oblige.

Here's tonight's menu:

Smothered Pork Chops

Oven Roasted New Potatoes

Baby Peas

Tangy Buttermilk Cheese Bread

Ghirardelli Dark Chocolate Brownies (yes, it's a mix, but who cares)

I'm hauling the bread machine we got for our bridal shower out of its box for the occasion (better late than never), and I figured I'd give it a whirl. (Note: all pix are from OTHER peoples' attempts to make this stuff.)

I'm off to buy some darn bread flour for the bread recipe...have a happy (and delicious) Saturday!

What makes this woman happy

2009-08-28T12:00:00.000-05:00

What makes me happy?

FINALLY having my stove (Magic Chef 1000) hooked up and merrily cooking away. I cannot tell you how wonderful it is to be able to cook on a stove and bake in an oven, after almost two years of microwaving food and eating out. I almost wept when Pete and his friend Scottie finally installed the stove this past weekend.

And what a cool and impressive stove to cook with. I marvel that this thing was made in 1935 and is STILL running in excellent condition. I do have to calibrate the smaller oven because the knob seems to be a bit off, but everything else is great. I'm amazed that it has pilot lights and is so efficient, for being so old. The ovens have to be lit with a match, but that's not a big deal at all, and it's cool to watch the strange burners with central rings of gas light up. Of course, I immediately set about cooking not only dinner for the three of us (for which the stove performed flawlessly, as always), but...

I baked the first cookies of many in it as well. This was the first test cookie (chocolate chip), and it turned out great. The smaller oven needed a lot of extra time, but it did all right, leading me to discover the knob needs to be adjusted. But the larger oven is wonderful, and has been baking batch after batch of cookies for us. (For the record, Scottie ate the first cookie baked, which is only fair, since he helped us so much.) Matt had also played a key part in helping Pete to move the stove to its proper location (no small feat, since it weighs about 560 pounds), for which I treated Matt out to dinner at a local Mexican restaurant.

Anyhow, yes, I became a baking fiend, but couldn't help myself. These were gone in a matter of minutes, with everyone drooling over the cookies, including the dogs.

A few days later I also made more chocolate chip cookies, and a batch of oatmeal raisin cookies too.

Another wonderful thing is that Matt and Pete brought in my china cabinet from the garage, which has been in storage for the last few years too.

I immediately set about hauling out all my vintage teacups that have been piling up in my cabinets since we moved here. I was a bit surprised by how many I had (22, plus one more missing a saucer), but they were so pretty to look at, and I was glad to have them out of the company of the mugs and glasses and into the china cabinet, where they belong. Since then, I've bought two more at the local antique shop, bringing my collection (with saucers) to 24.

For the moment, they're simply resting in the hutch of the china cabinet. The hutch was missing its shelves and had a piece of loose moulding, but I got it at Crate and Barrel Outlet for less than 1/3 the price, so I don't mind.

Pete needs to build/find some shelves for the hutch so I can properly set up the teacups, as well as our small collection of wedding china.

Another sublime development in our house this weekend is the moving of our entertainment center into our living room from our garage. It, too, has been in storage for two years now, waiting for the floor to be finished in the dining room so it could be moved into the living room. Pete had forgotten I even got the center, but I reminded him about it and the fact that I got it for FREE. Not bad for a solid piece of oak furniture. I'm so happy to have places to store DVDs, books, etc., as well as a proper place for our tv (and NOT the buffet cart that belongs in the dining room).

I also got a nice rug for the sink area at Crate and Barrel Outlet, and the cats and dogs seem very fond of it. Max especially likes to rest here, which is funny, because he is so photogenic against the bright orange rug and vivid blue floor.

Yes, I'm still waiting for Pete to fetch our dining room set from Jeanette's basement, and yes, the walls are unfinished in the kitchen and dining room. But I don't care. I am so happy to have a little bit more normalcy in our house and our lives (I am SO sick of microwave soup/chili and pizza rolls!), and I couldn't be more content at the moment. Well, that is, until Pete gets one of his broken cars up and running and gets rid of the other two beaters. But that's a challenge for another day. For now, I'm enjoying the sweet taste of victory (and cookies) and appreciating the baby steps we've taken to make our house a home, before our baby arrives and is stepping out as well.

Surrounded by dogs

2009-08-27T20:41:00.003-05:00

Roxie, our old landlord's dog, is staying with us for the next several days, and Adora isn't exactly being the gracious hostess she should be. She has been herding poor Roxie everywhere, nipping at her mouth and using body checks to keep her coralled. Adora has even tried to eat Roxie's food, which Roxie thoughtfully overlooked. Note the literally high-ranking position Adora put herself in outside while Pete was exercising the dogs. Queen of the Roost, indeed!

If you saw Roxie in person, you'd think she'd be the aggressor, since she's a big Rottweiler and looks rather imposing. But no, it's our little circus bear Adora who's being the dominant one, with Spanky a distant third in the temporary pack ranking (of course, we humans are first and second in the pack, with mama-to-be being top dog, hee hee). Spanky doesn't seem to care what Roxie does, as long as he's reassured he's still loved with lots of petting and cuddling.

This is going to be a loooong weekend....

Back to the drawing (and proofreading) board—again!

2009-08-22T12:00:00.000-05:00

I'm happy to say that things are perking up a bit in the freelance department for me lately. I've just been given an illustration project that will run for a few weeks (about 30 hours worth of work). And a potential temporary proofreading position has opened up as well, for which I just need to hash out the details and see if they'll work with my schedule (since I'm working on the illustration project first). AND, I'm beginning a collaboration on a children's book with an friend of a former coworker, which doesn't pay right away but has already been to a publisher and approved, so it's definitely got a chance of turning into something good.

I'm glad this is all hitting me right now, as I'm in the early part of my second trimester (I'm 15 weeks 2 days as of today). I was so severely fatigued, nauseous, and just generally feeling like crap for the last few months that I had trouble simply going about my daily routine at home (walking up stairs, doing laundry, feeding pets, brushing my teeth, etc.). So now I'm a bit refreshed, and although I have to take it easy with the physical stuff cuz I seem to keep pulling my ab/groin muscles (a wonderful side effect of pregnancy), I can certainly sit at my computer and work.

It's amazing how good it makes you feel when you have prospects (and hope for future prospects) after several months of no work and no job leads (except for the one freelance project I did back in June). I'm hopeful that work will pick up, and even if I'm not able to find full time work, perhaps I can become a full-time freelancer at home, which has always been my dream, and would be perfect with the impending arrival of our little one in February.

May you all have great success in your career and creative endeavors!

Frolicking in my very "Euro" bikini in the Ausable River

2009-08-21T12:00:00.000-05:00

Part of the gang hanging out at the Flume, in the Ausable River—From left to right: Isabelle, me, Pete, Olivia, and Jeanette

A view from above—belly shot at 14 weeks

While in the Adirondacks, we swam quite a bit. And since I don't swim that much normally and my bikini from my honeymoon still fits, I didn't see the reason to buy a new swimsuit. I was a bit worried that I would look odd scrambling among the rocks with my big belly hanging out of my bikini, but Jeanette assured me it was very "Euro" (lol, not sure if that's true, for all my European friends) to wear a bikini while pregnant.

I actually didn't mind wearing it because it didn't strangle my belly, and I was pregnant enough so that it didn't look like chub, but an actual baby bump. I did get a few curious looks, but most people didn't care, and it didn't bother me enough to hide under a big t-shirt or my sarong. Nicole took a picture of Pete and me, where my belly is super pregnant looking, and I was shocked by how big I had already become (when she sends it to me I'll post it).

Seems like I popped during the last few weeks, and the shorts I had been able to wear on the way up to the Adirondacks were no longer comfortable on the way home. Oh well, c'est la vie, eh?

My husband—the man with the spirit of a little boy

2009-08-20T13:27:00.003-05:00

Pete wearing his WWII jacket

Pete wearing his WWII tunic

During most of the time we were up in the Adirondacks, Pete ran around in one of either two outfits: a WWII jacket, and a WWII tunic. He loves anything WWII, and he was super excited when we ordered these from an eBay seller a few months ago.

He wore the jacket on the way up to the park, but most of the time he sported his little tunic. He wore the tunic around the cabin, without pants, for some reason (he still had his boxers on), prompting my 5-year-old niece Amelia to ask at one point (while he was changing from a day of swimming), "Is Uncle Peter going to wear his dress now?"

Home never felt so sweet

2009-08-19T16:32:00.005-05:00

Pete and me on Whiteface Mountain in the Adirondacks...yes, that's my preggo belly straining at my tank top in the picture.

We're back from the Adirondacks, and I'm so glad to be home. I missed the furry children, and sleeping in my own bed. I have lots of pix to upload to vivid, but hopefully I'll get those posted soon.

Hope you're having a great August so far, too!

On the road again...

2009-08-08T07:00:00.000-05:00

As you read this, Pete and I are off to the Adirondacks for a lovely vacation in a beautiful cabin near Lake Placid. We were there in '07, and I was super-excited when I found out we were able to go back again this year.

These pictures are from the last time we were there. We were leaving our hotel room and starting our second day of travel, headed to New York and the mountains. Pete had just had some coffee and was super hyper. I, of course, was still drinking my cup and not fully awake. My reaction is priceless, I think, lol.

Hope you all have a wonderful next 10 days while I'm gone...I may try to blog while I'm up there, but I don't know what sort of Internet I'll have, if any. So until then, au revoir!

2-11-2010

2009-08-06T19:00:00.001-05:00

The rumors are true.... :)

Sleeping kitty

2009-08-04T20:03:00.002-05:00

They are so cute when they're sleeping and not causing trouble, aren't they? Dollie's favorite room is our dining room/kitchen, which is still under construction and full of fun things to play with like scraps of sandpaper, stray screws, and lots of dust. But she also finds it a great place to catch a good nap.

Thanks to everyone who wished us a happy anniversary (Pete and me, that is, not Dollie). We had a great weekend up in Savanna hanging out at the farm and just relaxing a lot (and eating, of course). I'm moving a bit slow this week, and still getting to reading everyone's recent blog posts (I've been soooooo out of the blogging world lately!), but looking forward to our upcoming trip to the Adirondacks on Saturday. I've been busy locating my cameras and running mental checklists for the journey. Hopefully we can get some much needed R & R up there and come back refreshed and calm.

A happy anniversary weekend

2009-07-31T17:04:00.004-05:00

Hard to believe it's been almost a year already....

We'll be celebrating our first wedding anniversary in Savanna this weekend at the farm, so I thought I'd post about it now. This is a picture of our anniversary cake, which we got in exchange for a photo of us cutting the cake, from our cake lady. My friend Katie sent me the pic of us cutting the cake, for which I'm very grateful. Pete looks like he's lurching at the cake, ha ha, but it's a cute picture anyhow.

Our anniversary cake was a mini version of our wedding cake, complete with fresh daisies on top, and a basket weave pattern on the side. We got the Chocolate Amaretto Bailey's flavor for the filling, which is one of the fillings that was used on our actual wedding cake. I never did get a piece of Pete's groom cake, but I know it must have been good because Sam made it and she's an excellent baker. That day (and night) is still a blur, although I remember hanging out around the campfire at my parents' cabin after the reception, hair still filled with spray and ratted beyond belief. It was a fun way to end the festivities.

I have since had a few pieces of this cake already, and it's really good. Happy anniversary, Pete! And I will see you guys all next week. Hope you have a great weekend!

Gone, but not forgotten

2009-07-15T16:45:00.004-05:00

I've been on a bit of a short hiatus from blogging lately—not intentionally, but there it is. I've just been unusually busy during the last few weeks, and too exhausted to even open up my laptop, much less think about blogging or photography or anything. I've finished up a freelance project and I'm feeling a bit rested after spending a weekend at my in-laws' farm, so I'm hoping to get back into things during the next several days. I've got lots of pix to post from visits to the farm, the zoo, etc...once I get them uploaded to my computer, that is.

Thanks to all of you who continue to support me and my blogs, and wait for my next post to show up. Hope you are all having a great summer, and relaxing as much as possible.

Happy blogiversary to reverie!

2009-06-29T15:29:00.004-05:00

Today is the one year anniversary of this blog. Wow, time sure has flown! Lots has happened during that time, too. I've gotten married, been laid off, have had deaths in the family, and have welcomed little ones as well. I hope to continue posting to this blog for at least the next year, if not much, much longer, and sharing little bits of what makes me "me" with all of you (boring sometimes, yes, but that's life).

Hope you've enjoyed following me along on my journey. Things can only continue to change and grow from here!

OMG

2009-06-24T14:46:00.004-05:00

Here's a little entertainment for you while I wrestle with my laptop's mouse, trying to figure out what the heck is wrong with the damn thing. I think I have an idea what's up—it's related to the wireless USB transmitter; I think it's just gone wacky and I need a new mouse—but until then I struggle on, trying to do detailed drawings that are due ASAP and having my mouse freak out and open windows, new folders, etc. Fun, fun, fun. At least the AC is working and my iPhone has stopped hanging up on people.

Anyhow, until I'm back into blogging again later this week, I thought I'd share a good laugh with you. I saw this posted on a former schoolmate's Facebook page, and I groaned when I saw it. I'm not going to point out which one is me, but it's easy to figure out. Let me just say back then I was 50 pounds overweight, very nerdy and quiet, and had poor choices in hair and clothing. I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore....

It's like a heat wave...and possessed electronics

2009-06-23T17:32:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been a steamy few days here in the ol' Hoogestraat household, and I haven't been too thrilled about it. Yes, I bitched about all the rainy cold weather, but seriously, is it too much to ask for to have a normal summer? We went from the 50s/60s and pouring rains to the 90s and baking heat. What happened to the 70s and 80s?

To add to the fun, our central air conditioning hasn't been working properly. Last summer it died right before we went on our honeymoon (in early August), and we never needed to use it since then, so it sat there, unfixed. Until now, that is. Well, technically it's not fixed. I just figured I'd give it one last shot, and turned it on partly out of desperation and partly out of confidence. And sure enough, it's providing enough cooling air to temper things in here a bit. The dogs aren't panting so badly, and I can sit here at the computer without sweat pouring down my face (yes, it was that bad). I'm hoping the thermostat continues to drop and we hit a nice comfortable range. I'm not complaining in the meantime, though. I'm pretty tolerant of heat, but for some reason it's really been bothering me during the last few weeks.

In other news, my electronics have been on the fritz today. I sat down this morning to do a little blogging and to work on my freelance project, and discovered that the mouse was feeling kooky and didn't want to work properly. That doesn't sound like much of a problem, but if you can't even open up your hard drive or select options in windows (like restarting, or running a virus scan), then you're SOL. It makes it LOTS of fun trying to do anything, much less draw detailed illustrations or edit photos you've uploaded.

So I've spent the better part of the afternoon trying to fix what's wrong with it, and not getting very far. I was able to switch the primary mouse button to the right button instead of the left, so at least I can select things again, but it keeps freaking out and those little windows that pop up when you right click on something are flashing constantly. Needless to say, I've been unable to blog or do much of anything, except throw this post up to complain. I have lots of catching up to do, especially since I wasn't able to blog all weekend due to a Father's Day party I threw. Hopefully things will return to normal soon, especially since I have a deadline Saturday and LOTS of drawing left to do! I wonder if there are solar flares or something going on right now....

Hunkerin' down

2009-06-19T10:53:00.002-05:00

There have been rather bad storms moving through the area today, and another one is on it's way now (the one that's almost covering DeKalb on the map). So I'm trying to stay off the computer and get chores done for the moment. If a tornado comes, it'll be a comedy of errors trying to seek shelter with the animals. I can't imagine how I'll get the two dogs and two cats to squeeze into our first floor bathroom and sit still, while chunks of my house get ripped away by the gale-force winds....

Photo wall

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

I really like this idea of hanging a bunch of photos along an entire wall, and changing them as the mood strikes. I am a huge photo nerd, whether it's a snapshot of the dog covered in mud or a stunning sunset photo, so this is right up my alley. And I like the idea of changing things up, as I take more photos and inspiration hits. I just wish I had a giant wall to do this on besides my dining room wall (the photos would curl from the heat of cooking).

(Via Design Sponge)

Going crazy in quarantine

2009-06-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

Pete and I are in the middle of painting our dining room and kitchen floors, which means everyone has to be quarantined to the living room.

The dining room/kitchen has been sealed off, and in order to get anything from those rooms—food, paper towels, a drink—you have to go out the front door, walk around the house, and enter through the sliding doors, providing that particular layer of paint is dry.

And if you need anything from upstairs–our bedroom suite—the same thing applies. All of our stuff from the dining room/kitchen has been shoved into our living room, including my drawing desk, the huge Magic Chef 1000 stove, and other assorted goodies.

So not only are Pete and I stuck in the living room, but we're crammed in there with a bunch of stuff that we're tripping over AND all four animals are also trapped underfoot with us. At night, Pete and I have to crowd into a twin-size spare bed to sleep (or he sleeps on the couch and I take the bed), and of course the animals all pile in there with us, making it extra cozy (i.e., crowded).

One day of this? Not a problem, I can handle it. But six days of this? I am going insane. We sealed off the rooms on Saturday night, and the final coat of sealer won't be dry enough to release the hounds (and cats) on until Friday. I can sorta understand how someone in a small prison cell must feel. I hate my house being turned upside down, dirty from construction, cluttered from renovating, and stinking of paint fumes. I know it's for a good cause, but I don't think I can stand much more of this.

Yeah—that's our mini vintage Frigidaire fridge in our living room, which you have to walk around to get to the couches.

The cats seem confused and restless, and are constantly getting into it with the dogs. That's my drawing desk that Miss Dollie is sitting on, which has been shoved behind one of the couches. And that's the Magic Chef in the background, which is an enormous stove, but much more so when it's sharing a tiny space with three couches, a fridge, a table, a tv, two people, two dogs, and two cats. Ugh.

The dogs are absolutely bored out of their skulls, as I am. They stare longingly outside all day, wishing they could be anywhere else. And the bummer of it all?

Pete's car is still broken down, so he's been taking my beloved CR-V to work every day. We have him take the car, because otherwise I have to drive to and from his work twice a day, wasting gas and adding miles to my car. So I'm trapped at home in the living room, AND I can't go anywhere besides walking around my neighborhood. And it's been raining like crazy around here this past week, so daily walks have been out of the question.

Hopefully this will be worth all the discomfort, although I'm panicking because we are hosting a Father's Day party on Sunday and I haven't been able to clean the house. Either I can't access certain parts of it, or we're all stuck in one spot and things just will get messed up again. So I'll be doing a marathon cleaning session Friday–Saturday, with a final move of the furniture on Sunday morning, just to be sure the paint is dry. Sigh....

A trip to the Garden

2009-06-17T08:00:00.001-05:00

Georgia and I are headed to the Chicago Botanic Garden today, after we have a hot breakfast somewhere nearby (I'm scoping things out now).

We hope to have a day full of running around with our cameras, enjoying the weather (please cooperate!), and having a few laughs (or more). I'll be posting my results later this week on vivid.

UPDATE: This has since been postponed to next week, due to our crazy Chicago weather. But I'll be sure to share pix after we visit!

A charming glass locket and a beautiful butterfly ring

2009-06-16T09:20:00.008-05:00

I just got this wonderful clear glass memory locket from the Etsy shop PoPkO, and I am in love! It is the coolest thing.

You can put whatever you want in it—flowers, leaves, photos, notes, a lock of hair, whatever you want.

And the great thing is you can change what's in it if you want, and show something else in your pretty locket. I chose a pretty yellow flower from my front yard to start off (a buttercup, perhaps?), which dried nice and flat within the confines of the glass.

Another goody from PoPkO that arrived yesterday was this custom butterfly wing ring. It is a beautiful bright yellow color, and looks so lovely on my finger. (This is not my hand, it's from the sale listing, but it shows the ring better than my picture does.)

And no, the wings aren't pulled off the poor butterflies, but instead harvested after they have lived out their lives. From the shop:

All of my butterfly wings are from a Butterfly Conservation garden where the butterflies live in a happy garden until they naturally expire. The gardens collect the wings and I make jewelry with them. I feel this is a great way to recycle these wings so people can appreciate them long after their time. Eco friendly!

I already own a gorgeous Keepsake Glass and Sterling Silver Necklace with a Real Butterfly Wing in it. I have the Cairns Birdwing, which is similar to the one on the lower right. I wear it all the time and get lots of compliments on it. What's really great is that it's two sided, so you can see a little bit of beauty from both sides.

And Crystal, the shop owner, is a wonderful person to work with. She was very patient and helpful when she assisted me in designing my custom ring. And I couldn't be happier with the results. I highly recommend stopping by and checking out her shop.

Slow day

2009-06-15T13:18:00.005-05:00

Hey, everyone, how are you? I've been feeling really, really tired and sluggish for the last few days, so I've been a bit absent from my posting duties. To remedy my stupor, I've taken the laptop outside to work on my freelance project (and maybe squeeze in a little blogging and surfing). I figured I should enjoy the beautiful weather before the rains come AGAIN tomorrow, and get some usage out of my lonely patio furniture, which hasn't seen many sunny days lately.

And we're also in the middle of painting the dining room/kitchen floors (robin's egg blue, so very lovely!), so avoiding the fumes has been a big motivator for going outside. The doggies are keeping me company and getting some fresh air too. Hopefully I'll be back to my energetic self tomorrow.

And thanks for all of you who expressed your concern and good wishes regarding Dollie. She did indeed come home, albeit a bit late (a day and half later), which is really unusual for her, hence my freaking out. In true cat fashion, she simply strolled up to Pete in the backyard and acted like nothing had happened (he grabbed her quickly so she couldn't change her mind). I was thrilled to have her back, and she's up to her old antics again, running around like a maniac and climbing on every surface imaginable.

Dollie, come home

2009-06-13T10:23:00.003-05:00

Our spunky and chunky little cat Dollie (the one in the banner for this blog) has run away, and I'm very sad about it. Last time I saw her was yesterday morning at 5:30 a.m., when the dogs dashed outside to chase her up into a tree. She later came down and ran off, and I haven't seen her since. She's very affectionate and friendly, so I worry someone's taken her in without checking to see who she belongs to (she's microchipped but lost her collar). And she's not an "outdoor" cat, but prefers to stay inside, except for the occasional trips out on the patio or up a nearby tree. I've been walking from open doors to open windows in the house, calling her over and over, with Max at my side, "helping" me look.

Anyhow, I hope she comes home soon. It's rainy and cold outside, and everyone seems lonely without her.

What a watchdog!

2009-06-12T08:00:00.001-05:00

Yesterday Pete, the dogs, and I were driving home on 88, and we happened to be driving alongside one of those Invisible Fence–type trucks. There was a giant photo of a chocolate lab on the side that look a lot like the image on the van above, probably a good 6 feet tall.

I suddenly saw Adora intensely staring out the window at the dog picture on the truck as we drove along, and pointed this out to Pete. When he turned around to watch her, she had started growling at the giant dog and would have probably started barking if we hadn't passed the truck.

Pete and I laughed a long time about this, but Adora was all business. Thank God we were all safe from the mean, giant dog on the highway, thanks to her!

Composting

2009-06-11T08:05:00.003-05:00

I'm thinking of starting up a composting bin for our household. We have lots of organic garbage including banana peels, egg shells, and watermelon rinds, so I figure they'd be put to better use as fertilizer rather than ending up in a garbage dump.

I saw this nice little bin at organize.com, which is handy for the immediate storage of compost and can be kept in the kitchen. I'll have to investigate a larger bin for outside though. Are you composting right now? What methods do you use, and what tips do you have? My dad has been composting for many, many years, long before it was the hip and "green" thing to do. He simply used a garbage can with a lid tied on it, and he kept it on the back porch near the kitchen door. I think it's still there....

Brunch, antiques, Indian Food, and "Milk"

2009-06-10T08:00:00.005-05:00

Sam, Jane, Henry, Mani, and I all met up for brunch at Blueberry Hill in LaGrange on Saturday, which was wonderful.

Then we girls let the boys go off to do their own thing (which included riding the carousel at Brookfield Zoo), and we headed to the antique mall in LaGrange. They were having a sidewalk sale, but Sam and I weren't too impressed this year. So we went inside the mall, and I did find some cool things, like...

this charming sheet music

this lovely teacup

We stopped at Starbucks for some coffee, then headed to Trader Joe's, Borders, and a few boutiques on the way to the car. Afterward, I took Sam to the Honda dealer to pick up her CRV, and we headed over to another antique shop, where I found...

this pretty magazine

I parted ways with Sam after that to fetch Pete (who was at home without wheels) and headed back to Sam's house. Mani and Henry were back, and we all went to Khyber Pass in Oak Park for some delish Indian food.

We all had the buffet, and I tried some rose milk, which was utterly wonderful.

I must learn how to make it at home....

Anyhow, then we headed back to their house and watched "Milk," which was pretty good.

Everywhere we went, people were fussing over Henry and Jane. They were quite the little charmers and enjoyed the attention.

I plan to frame the sheet music and magazine as I've framed others in my house (the framed Life magazine is my favorite so far).

And the teacup is going in my growing collection. All in all, I didn't spend all that much, yet I still got some great vintage finds to add to my happy home.

(Some images from Blueberry Hill, Khyber Pass, LaGrange Park Antique Mall, Kitchen Tantra; image of Jane by Nicole)

Lovely snapdragons and such

2009-06-09T08:00:00.001-05:00

I know I'm constantly singing the praises of Trader Joe's, but there's a reason for that. One big reason (besides their wonderful pretzel bread) are the gorgeous flowers. Every time I go there, I find a new selection to choose from. I've gotten everything from irises to carnations, and have never been dissatisfied with the quality. Plus the prices are great—these snapdragons were $5.59 per bunch (I have a bunch of white and a bunch of pink here). Most of the flowers run around $5 a bunch, and even the pricier ones, like lilies, are still a deal at $7 and some change per bunch.

And yes, that's this print...

...in the background on my living room wall. I love looking at its pretty colors whenever I walk in the room.

And I just finished placing an order at Michael's for this print (above) to be custom framed as well. It's going to look like this.

It's an odd size and large, so unfortunately I can't just grab a frame and mat off the shelf and do it up nicely.

These lilies were on my display table for over a week, but were starting to lose petals, hence the purchase of the snapdragons. But then I realized there were a few flowers that hadn't opened yet and the lilies had some more life in them, so I just swapped the lilies over to the tv stand, and the snapdragons to the display table.

And of course these mums were on the tv stand, so they had to move upstairs to our bedroom. Pete probably wonders why I've gone so flower crazy, but they're cheap and pretty and I have lots o' vases for them.

But I couldn't resist this pretty iridescent vase from Target. The color in the very first photo in this post is more accurate. It's normally a $40 vase (which I would never spend on a vase like this) but it was marked down to $9.98. Quite a bargain, eh? And the custom framing job on the black and white image was half off. Oh yes, I am forever finding great deals on the clearance shelves at various stores, as well as having become a coupon-weilding fiend!

Letters as art

2009-06-08T08:00:00.003-05:00

I've been decorating my pad during the last several weeks, and I was trying to think of other ideas for art that I can display on my walls. I'm not partial to quotes or sayings on walls, but I do like single words or even just letters. The above image really captured my attention, with the letters in different fonts, colors, and sizes, and randomly arranged too. I think this would make a fabulous presentation as an almost mosaic-like work of art.

Now I just have to start collecting letters....

(Image from Livingetc.com)

Wish I were a songbird

2009-06-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

I always wished I were someone who could sing. I mean really, really sing, not the off-tune nasal stuff that comes out of my mouth. No, I mean the rich, beautiful, blush-inducing, gorgeous sounds that some people can produce. I know, it's weird, but I blush when I hear incredible singing or music—does anyone else do this?

Anyhow, being a bad singer doesn't stop me from warbling all over the house, in the car, in the shower, under my breath, and even with the iPod while running on the treadmill. I sometimes even sing to my dogs and cats, making up silly songs to get their tails wagging. And I will definitely be one of those mamas who sings to their babies and children, too. Whether they shriek in terror when they hear me is another matter entirely.

I really enjoy it, feel so happy when I do, and as long as no one's in earshot and writhing in pain, why not? I noticed that when I sing, I must be in really good spirits (which is unusual for me sometimes). So I go with the flow, belting out song after song, an imaginary melodic songbird that's a chirping birdie in disguise.

Bad Dodo!

2009-06-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

This is the scene I came home to the other day. Adora (a.k.a. Dodo) had gotten upset that I was gone for a few hours and decided to chew up one of the living room pillows. Lucky for her it was only a cheap $3 pillow from IKEA...and she is lucky that I'm such a patient and forgiving mama.

Bad Dodo.

"Weeki Wachee Spring, Florida" by Toni Frissell

2009-06-05T08:05:00.008-05:00

I was browsing through the selection at Allposters.com (hey, they keep sending me all these coupons) and was particularly interested in black and white photography. I happened to stumble upon this image by Toni Frissell called "Weeki Wachee Spring, Florida," and was instantly captivated.

Toni Frissell

There is something very surreal and ethereal about the image, reminding me of murky yet vivid dreams. I think it would look great on the wall next to our bed, or over the entertainment center in the living room, simply framed in black and matted in white. Sometimes I think I have so much color in my house that I need to have a block of black and white every so often, and this image is absolutely perfect for that.

Not only do I adore it, but it certainly invites thought and comment about it. I'm not usually one of those people that buy mass-produced prints. Well, I do, if I really love something and it's unique and original, and I think this falls under that category. I just think it's so gorgeous.

Denny Doherty of The Mamas and The Papas

2009-06-04T08:05:00.000-05:00

Have you ever read or watched tv about someone famous who was once a singer, artist, actor—whatever the case may be—and found the person so interesting that you actually almost mourn the fact they're no longer with us? I feel that way about a few prominent people—John Lennon, for one (I'm one of the biggest Beatles fan there is)—but another lesser-known singer I "miss" is Denny Doherty of The Mamas and The Papas.

I remember seeing my mom's Mamas and Papas album "If You Can Believe Your Eyes And Ears" when I was all of 9 and being totally fascinated by him. Not only did I think he was a handsome fellow, but he had an incredible voice, and he was a funny guy, too.

He wasn't a perfect person, but none of us are. And he had the humility to admit to his faults in interviews that I've seen. Anyhow, when he died a few years ago, I was really saddened.

I often think of him and his beautiful voice, charming wit, and carefree nature when I hear The Mamas and The Papas playing (I'm playing some now). Same thing with Cass Elliot, one of his very good friends.

At least they have left behind a legacy of wonderful music for us to enjoy.

Addicted to pretzel bread

2009-06-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

Izzy and I are currently addicted to Trader Joe's Soft Pretzel Sticks. We can't seem to get enough of them, and every time we bite into one of the mini loafs, we both moan aloud with pleasure. They're ridiculously good and fairly inexpensive ($.99 each), so we tend to snarf them down a lot whenever we can.

Oh, and we wash 'em down with some yummy Trader Joe's Refreshers, either in Pomegranate or Tangerine. They're $4.99 for a case of four. Yum.

Pretty, pretty milk glass

2009-06-02T08:00:00.002-05:00

I am crazy about milk glass. Not to the point where I have obsessively bought tons of it (not yet, lol), but I just think it's some of the prettiest glassware out there and have slowly been collecting it. I love all the different shapes and colors it comes in, and all the dainty purposes it was created for—delicate salt cellars, gorgeous vases, frilly cake stands, and everything else you can imagine.

A good source to look for milk glass kitchenware is on eBay, of course, but don't rule out going to your local antique and thrift stores. Milk glass tends to be relatively cheap, and it's often the perfect thing to display on your coffee table or in your china cabinet. And even newly-produced milk glass can be beautiful. Martha Stewart has a line of milk glass that stands up to any vintage piece.

Right now I only own about 4-5 milk glass vases, so I'd like to add more functional items to my collection, like serving pieces. I've been looking at salt cellars on eBay, which I find so appealing. I can imagine throwing my much dreamed-about tea party (with my growing collection of inexpensive vintage teacups) and having tiny little salt cellars placed here and there on the dining room table.

Another milk glass item I've been lusting for are cake plate stands. I would love to get my hands on a pretty hobnail stand or two, although there are plenty other designs and colors to choose from. I found quite a few on eBay, but shipping tends to run $10 or more, although you can find quite a few inexpensive ones that will run you under $20 total. You just have to browse a lot and see what's listed.

Since I'm headed to the Spring Outdoor Market next weekend in LaGrange, I'm going to wait to purchase any milk glass items on eBay, unless they're pretty cheap or I absolutely must have them (none meet that criteria so far). I prefer to be able to look at the item in my hands, turn it around, see how many imperfections there are, and also see how it catches the light. Milk glass seems to come in different formulations, and even among my collection the type of glass varies greatly.

If you're lucky enough to already own milk glass, congrats! And if you're newly interested in the stuff, have fun searching it out. It's a great vintage look to add to your fanciest china or everyday dishes. Happy searching!

The Nature Conservancy: 4th Annual Nature Photography Contest

2009-06-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

Check out the photo contest going on at the Nature Conservancy. Submissions are due by September 30th, so you have plenty of time to send something in!

A pretty (and hopefully secure) way to hide a few remotes

2009-05-31T08:00:00.000-05:00

Hi, my name is Chris, and I have a dog named Adora that eats things that she shouldn't. I admit it. She eats lots of things. Things like remote controls, shoes, cordless phones...things you personally don't think are all that tasty, but that she enjoys destroying when she's home alone (with Spanky, Max, and Dollie, that is).

And it doesn't stop there. Adora is a master at opening bottles and packages and getting at food, especially when I take Spanky and her in the car with me, which is quite often. Not even a bottle of water is safe. She will take the bottle of water, carefully unscrew the cap (even if it hasn't been opened), and drink the water from the bottle without spilling very much, if anything. This happens almost daily when I take Adora with me in the car, so I've had to hide water bottles under the seats, but she still gets to things down there. The only safe place to hide stuff is under a shelf in the back of my CRV, where Adora can't get to things. If I don't hide stuff back there, I pay. I have caught her opening yogurt containers, bananas, chili dog containers, boxes of candy, candy bars, bags of chips.... Adora has even taken an entire cup of iced coffee and drank it, with barely a drop spilled, while I ran into Target.

Anyhow, I digress. I was at Michael's on Monday and found some pretty paper boxes of different shapes and sizes. I loved a particular bird box, but as always, I try to think of what practical use such an item will serve in my house.

I hadn't thought of one until the following day, when I realized the box could easily fit both our cable and DVD remote controls.

The previous cable remote had been killed by Adora in the past, and Pete and I always worry she'll set her sights on the humble replacement remote one of these days. But now I have a pretty box to hide both remotes from her ravenous ways.

Although I'm not so sure that she can't open the box and get at them. She has opened storage bins in my car to get at candy before. Well, I guess we'll give it a try and see what happens.

They always look so innocent, don't they?

Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's Great Strides Walk

2009-05-30T11:29:00.007-05:00

In two weeks I'll be walking in the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation's Great Strides Walk. I'll be joining Nicole and my niece Isabelle in this worthy cause. Please stop by my home page if you are interested in making a donation. My goal is $150, but anything above and beyond that is greatly appreciated (and needed). Thank you!

(P.S. If the link doesn't work for you, try searching for me under "Find A Walker" in the side bar under "Christina Hoogestraat.")

Walking with Jen

2009-05-30T07:55:00.000-05:00

I loaded up my pretty picnic basket and set out to meet Jen on Wednesday. We decided we haven't seen each other enough since being laid off, so we are starting a walking regimen. And a picnic lunch was our little treat after our exercise.

My basket, open and waiting for dishes and the like

Shoe Factory Woods, where we walked the bike path

My New Balance 806 running shoes, which I wore to our walking session

We had a great time exercising, catching up, bitching and ranting (which we used to do during our breaks at work), and just enjoying the weather. Later we unpacked all of our food in a picnic pavilion and had a nice lunch of salad, watermelon, and cheese and crackers. It was delightful and relaxing, although the birds living in the shelter kept dive bombing our heads, making us rather nervous. All in all, it was a great day and a great way to spend time with my buddy Jen.

Artful Penpals

2009-05-29T08:05:00.000-05:00

I came across this brilliant idea proposed by Shelagh at Artful Penpals. It's all about reviving the art of letter writing, and the beauty and thought in the written letter. And what better way to do so than to have a bunch of pen pals writing letters to each other? Use your fanciest stationery and your prettiest stamps. Make it as original as you are. Imagine what YOU'D like to receive in the mail, and use that as an idea to work off of. I'm already brainstorming on just what I'm going to send to my pen pal. It's so exciting and fun to create something lovely for someone else to discover in their mailbox, isn't it?

Interested? Sign up here.

Out of sorts

2009-05-29T07:55:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling very "off" for the last several weeks, and I'm not sure why. Before that I was enjoying a few months of relatively good health: hardly any headaches/migraines, energetic, happy, no stomach issues, etc. But now I'm the opposite, except perhaps the happy part, although the poor health is affecting my attitude the longer it goes on. I can't attribute it to anything in particular, and I'm baffled as to what to do about it.

The migraines scare me, because they've been relatively rare since last September after I went off the pill. When I was on the pill, I suffered from 10-15 migraines a month (!), many quite severe, more so than I had been used to. But once I stopped taking the pill, the number dropped to 1-3 a month, if that. So for them to start up during the last several weeks for no reason—and to be increasing slowly from week to week—scares and depresses me.

My stomach has also been in turmoil, even though I'm eating the same things, or less of them. I can understand the energy going downhill because of the migraines and stomach problems, but it's still frustrating. My current physical state is making me not want to take pictures, draw and paint, laugh with friends, go out and about, and other such activities. It's making me crabby.

I'm not sure what's going on, but I hope for it all to end soon, so I can go back to feeling fantastic, like I have been since being laid off (ha ha, how ironic).